earthweaver

Fire of the Goddess Book Release!

2012-01-02T12:45:00.000-08:00

an event to

Celebrate the Sacred Feminine
be blessed, be healed, be touched

Fire of the Goddess Book Release by Katalin Koda, local Puna author

Featuring musical performances by:

Lizae Reyes: healing arts ritualist inspired by Ancestral Philippine Tradtions

Mary Isis ~ Iris Eve ~ Sarah B

plus Sacred Feminine Kirtan with Sita Devi and Kelley

~books for sale and signing~

~Goddess invocations and multidimensional interactions~

~health treats and elixers available for purchase~

$10--15 love donation

www.katalinkoda.com

www.sustainable-hawaii.org

Updated Services

2011-12-22T11:31:00.000-08:00

I've updated my Services page, see HERE

Katalin is now offering:
~Aura Readings and Shamanic Divinations
~Traditional Reiki Healing Session
~Reiki Shamanic Sessions
on the Big Island, Hawaii.
To receive an in person healing, please contact Katalin:
katalinkoda@gmail.com
Mobile: 808.769.7645
Home/skype: 415.508.4512

Distance Sessions Available:
~Aura Readings and Shamanic Divinations
~Traditional Reiki Healing Session
~Reiki Shamanic Sessions

Shamanic Healing Session which may include any of the following, depending on what is needed: Extraction, Power Animal Retrieval and/or Soul Retrival

Katalin will set a time with you to receive healing for one full hour. Afterward, she will contact via phone or Skype to review what happened during the healing session as well as a written email of the information.
Aura Readings, Distance or In Person: $55.00
Includes Personal Email Contact and Follow Up Phone Call.
Aura Reading includes Your Own Personal Aura Image!
.

Rubybleu Puja

2011-11-29T12:39:00.000-08:00

Venus has returned in early morning sky.

we called it your star, Ruby's star.

it shimmers over dark November stones, as i stumble

remembering, remembering, remembering...

II.

her brilliant beginning: soft, red skin, misty eyes wide open

Birth: the smell of blood and salt in dark night.

wonder saturated the air, heavy as smoke,

in the finite hours of one precious day.

Suddenly! newness gave way to blueness; birth gave way to death.

a breath between one second and the next.

Death waxed calm terror as your Spirit flew fast

like a whisper over the ocean, fading like Moth wings at dawn,

lost among the waves of the world.

Dear one, came to leave, born to die, master of Samsara

Time spinning and i am holding you even as i am letting you go.

III.

somehow the aching nights turned over.

dread days became lighter weeks,

sun revolving moon reverberating flow.

we floated your ashes, blue bone and red copper

down the Ganges, the divine Mother.

swirling amidst flame and hibiscus, a tiny vessel of Hope,

of Spirit transmuted

the fragile joy cracked open, shattered and revealing;

an illumined spark of the Divine,

Rubybleu essence: glowing burning seeds of truth.

and finally i can cast mine which is not mine

Beyond the you who is not you into the quiet unknown.

Fire of the Goddess Review in Predictions Magazine

2011-11-24T09:41:00.001-08:00

Fire of the Goddess

Guiding you through nine rites of passage to understand and connect the sacred feminine within us all, this beautiful book is crammed with inspiring myths and legends (think individualist Hawaiian fire bearer Pele and bodhisattva of compassion, Guan Yin) and effective exercises like ‘weaving womb, heart and head’ and creating a woman’s group in your local community to support you on your journey of feminine discovery.

Whether you want to occasionally dip in and savour this book over a number of months as recommended, or read it from cover to cover (we couldn’t resist the latter!), this is a truly wonderful literary experience that connects women to a profound aspect of themselves that is often overlooked by the modern world.

Interview with The Wiccan/Pagan Times

2011-08-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

Fire of the Goddess
TWPT Talks to Katalin Koda
©2011TWPT

TWPT: What does the term spirituality mean to you?

KK: To me, spirituality is connected to the word sacred which I feel is being in the presence of all things interconnected. As I cultivate certain qualities of gratitude, compassion, joy and love I open up to touching what is sacred, thus feeling my own spirituality. I also feel after years of following the ‘spiritual’ path, that although it may be expressed differently, we are all in the sea of the universe together, as you might say, ‘spirited form.’ In my view, we are all beings of spirit and are learning to access this through varied layers of form, depending on the person. I find it interesting that in some cultures in Africa, they believe trees are actually more evolved than humans, because they simply be, they ARE spirit expressing itself as form…where we seem to take or need a lot more steps to get back to the simplicity of that experience.

TWPT: Is there a difference between being religious and being spiritual? How so?

KK: Yes, I do believe there is a big difference, actually. To me, being religious means following a set of rules and considerations laid down by people who were attempting to mimic either an authentic spiritual experience or spiritual person. An authentic spiritual person has no need to follow the ten commandments for example. If someone is living in touch with the sacred on a daily basis, they will naturally follow their heart which will always guide us to act compassionately and for the benefit of others. Yet, most of us do not access this pure heart wisdom and might need a few rules or regulations to go by, which is great!
But another major difference I find is the need to convert or convince others that this one particular way is the only way to access the sacred. You find this a lot in monotheism, in the belief in one god; that if the main teacher did it a certain way, then we must all do it this way. The Buddha said there are as many ways to enlightenment as there are people on earth, which sounds more like being spiritual, connecting with our inner sacred, then having to say a certain prayer that holds very little meaning for us.
Indigenous people have connected with the sacred very spontaneously, thus expressing what I would call spiritual. This connection is a process, like breathing or dancing or singing. It is not something prescribed; when we set something in stone we get away from that spontaneity and away from the sacred and into the religious. We see this shift when the role of the priests became important, and people had to follow the priest to connect to god or the spiritual.

TWPT: Tell me about your own spiritual journey and the different paths you have walked while you searched various alternatives.

KK: I was raised Catholic and although I remember loving the ceremony of some of the masses, I also often felt bored and restless in church. I was seeking some kind of community and found that with a group of practicing Wiccan/Pagans when I was 20. I remember so clearly the first time we did a Drawing Down the Moon ceremony and just feeling so amazing to dance wildly under the moonlight, barefoot, calling on the goddess. I don’t think I had ever imagined god as a feminine face before and this moved me deeply. After that I couldn’t bear the church …once I started really researching the history I became passionate to practice Wicca.

At that time I also learned Reiki and was beginning to practice on others and then teach, passing Reiki attunements as I traveled around. I also became interested in Buddhism and eastern philosophy and when I met my now husband, he turned me onto a lot of different kinds of thought. When we traveled to India, I was still practicing Wicca, and still continue (to this day) to celebrate some of the festivals, especially Winter Solstice.

In India I studied Yoga, Zen Buddhism and Tibetan Buddhism. I learned meditation from an Ammachi devotee, I did a few retreats at the Bodhizendo in south India but the most powerful teachings by far were the Tibetan Buddhist ones. Not only was the dharma, or Buddhist teachings, incredibly profound and helpful for everyday life, there is a lot of magic around Tibetans and some of the teachers are very advanced, so you get a taste of intense compassion, love, even enlightenment I would say. I was not lucky enough to spend one on one time with a teacher, but I received many public teachings and interestingly had many dreams and visions that guided and supported my practice. And I also continued my Reiki practice, which I feel taught me so much; the continued years of practicing so much healing was such a great groundwork for more advanced practices…it also led to spontaneous shamanic experiences which I now use in my healing work.
At the same time, I continued to passionately call in Goddess to my ceremony. There was a local Goddess in the village temple where we lived who we gave offerings to. The stories abound throughout India of Saraswati, Parvati, Kali, all goddesses with different qualities and I would use them to inspire this kind of mix of Wicca/Tantric practice. I was also very inspired by the Dakini in Tibetan Buddhism and feel a strong connection to certain practices associated with her. She is a wisdom keeper in Vajrayana or Tantric Buddhism and protects the inner teachings. I tried off and on to really stay with one tradition; I did take refuge with H.H. Karmapa of the Karma Kagyu lineage of Tibetan Buddhism and although I don’t have a personal relationship with him, I consider him my heart teacher. I was so deeply moved by just being in his presence and that continues to inspire me to be more compassionate. And still, I am an eclectic woman! As a shamanic practitioner I use what is immediate to help others, to create ceremony, to do the healing work, to honor the earth. I have a lot of tools in my kit now.

TWPT: What is it that you are looking for as you explore earth stories?

KK: To me earth stories, are the mythic stories of indigenous people, but that means all of us. We are all indigenous to the earth, even if we don’t have specific traditions that come from the earth. Earth stories are our stories of creation, of how and where we came from, of the elements, the oceans, how the trees grow. Earth stories come in the form of myths and legends and they hold keys as to how we can be in balance with our home. For example, one of the stories in my book, ‘Fire of the Goddess’ is the Coming of Corn by the Cherokee nation. In that story, a boy’s grandmother dies and he drags her body across the earth. Where blood falls, corn sprouts and grows into food for the people. It is a story of death, rebirth, life and nourishment. I think these stories are meaningful because they work on our soul level, or our subconscious and remind us what is important. When I told this story to my four year old daughter (at the time), she loved it and when a friend of ours died, she spent days wondering which plants his body was turning into. It felt good to connect her to the life cycle in a way that is real yet also beautiful.

TWPT: How much women’s mysteries and wisdom has disappeared over the centuries as patriarchal systems became the dominate social structure?

KK: I don’t know if we even know the answer to that one… a LOT! That’s for sure. If we consider that anywhere from 300,000 up to 9 million women were killed, burned, tortured, and so on for hundreds of years, we know that not only women’s mysteries and wisdom was gone, but even the simple stories of women. I imagine women had all kinds of clever ways to pass some of the knowledge on surreptitiously yet much has been lost. Another aspect of this issue is that for hundreds of years all that was recorded in written, syllabic language was written by men and mostly for men; we don’t really know what women were up to. There is some mention in the Vedas, the ancient texts of India, of scholars visiting women priestesses in India, and leaving completely enlightened. According to them, the women refused to reveal their secret wisdom…leaving us to wonder many centuries later what was going on in those temples.

TWPT: Can these mysteries ever be restored to what they once were? Can they overcome centuries of psychological conditioning that women have been subjected to? How?

KK: I don’t think going back to the past is the way we can heal and move forward. It is impossible to know from the perspective of thoughts in ordinary reality what kinds of mysteries happened exactly. I think we are creating new mysteries, and that a major part of that is recognizing the male role in this too; that not only women, but men have been victims of this conditioning, as well as all sorts of creative people, homosexuals, indigenous people, non-white people and so forth.

Yet, I wonder if, at the same time, if these mysteries are within us, in our blood and bones even. We carry so much information in our bodies and when we quiet our minds and use our hearts to experience, we can access huge amounts of information. I think its important to remember that humans worshipped a goddess figure for many thousands of years before the patriarch, that the last 2—4000 years is a small part of our 50,000 or even 70,000 years of humans making art, making ceremony. That we are the descendants of people who have worked intimately with this earth and her stories for so long that in a way, the mysteries haven’t really gone anywhere, its just up to us to boldly rediscover them.

TWPT: In your workshops what is it that you are trying to teach those who come in regards to women’s mysteries, wisdom and spirituality? Do you see a hunger in attendees to reclaim these attributes in modern society?

KK: In my workshops I provide ways for women to begin accessing their spirituality, their power, inner love and wisdom. I use some specific tools, tools that have been around a long time to do this: nature, ceremony or ritual, creating myth, storytelling, making art, dance as well as meditation, contemplation and cultivating a disciplined practice. We also use shamanic methods such as journeying with the drum and working with dreams to help us explore our inner worlds and discover wisdom, spirituality within.

I do see a hunger, and sometimes frustration as we try to redefine ourselves against the backdrop of a very disconnected modern world. I also see an immense amount of joy, wildness, natural beauty. Women so naturally make altars, create little ceremonies for themselves in daily life and when we focus on those things that we are already doing, reframe them in the context of the sacred, we feel very alive and suddenly we are connected in more.

TWPT: Your new book is called Fire of the Goddess: Nine Paths to Ignite the Sacred Feminine. Why is it important for women to find this sacred feminine within themselves?

KK: I feel it is crucial for both men and women to reconnect to the sacred feminine, because that is our earth, our own well being depends on listening to the earth and creating a world that is more sustainable. We all know that things are pretty amuck these days, and the sacred feminine is our reminder that we have a way to deal with these things: that nature has been evolving and coexisting with humans for millions of years and we don’t have to foul our own nest. Some of the principles in the sacred feminine are interconnectedness, cultivating gratitude can help us to become more aware of our consumerism, our depression all the symptoms of a world that is out of touch with what is sacred and beautiful and wholesome.

Another important aspect of this work, is that the ‘feminine’ has been long defined by the West as something passive, objectified by men, sexual in a very specific way and I strongly believe that if women want this changed, all over the world, it’s up to us to redefine feminine. When we connect with our feminine through story, myth, ceremony, we often find oh…we aren’t a passive, or bitchy, or shameful, or willful (as often told to girls…especially in the obscenity of molestation and rape), but instead we are powerful, we are intelligent, we are strong, we are quiet too. It is a redefining of the sacred in the shape of a woman. This can often require a lot of healing too, especially in the cases of sexual and psychological abuse. But this is important because most of us have held the concept of the divine as a male image, often a white male image and this just isn’t relevant for half the population! Redefining the sacred feminine as well as reclaiming images that make sense to us who are women and those who are non-white is important to first reconnect with the sacred within, and then be able to connect with those around us; to honor diversity and differences.

TWPT: What has happened to the image of the sacred feminine over the years?

KK: This is a fascinating question, which could warrant writing an entire book on this! During the writing of my book, I used this fabulous timeline of goddess imagery, called ‘The Goddess Timeline” which I ordered from the Internet at: www.goddesstimeline.com I have this timeline on my wall and it has been a constant source of inspiration and reminder of how human cultures have viewed the sacred feminine over the last 30,000 years. For thousands and thousands of those years, up until 4-5000 B.C.E. most art images were of a feminine form, usually an round feminine image of breasts and belly sometimes with an exaggerated vulva. These images evoke nourishment and earthiness. I spent hours pouring over Marija Gimbutas’ books, a pre-eminent archeologist that spent decades working with Neolithic art and documenting the Venus’ of Neolithic art. So many images consist of eggs and swirls, snakes and owls, breasts and vulva, circles and lines, birds, and eyes and she felt these images were a kind of language that spoke about the natural world.
We still see this kind of work in indigenous crafts such as pottery, weaving, etc.

For thousands of years we have art that mirrors the earth…then we see that change and I found it fascinating that as the patriarch grew in the west, a culture of dominion and control, the images of the goddess went from being rotund to very slim, bird like, narrow and long…almost more masculine you might say! We see that the prevalence of owls and snakes in old imagery become associated with demonic or devilish qualities both in art and myth. Another aspect of the change is the role of the sacred feminine…she was often portrayed as a sexual, sensual, earthy, musical, wild being and later became much more covered and cloaked, passive and having qualities of a passive kind of mother or virgin. The sexual, spiritual parts were carved out so that the sacred feminine might fit the dominant qualities that wished to repress and control society.
As recent as 1970, Monica Sjoo’s artwork, ‘God Giving Birth’ was banned from a show. The image depicts a woman giving birth…but we certainly have come a ways from that in the U.S…although we have a long way to go here and other areas in the world. It is still astonishing to me how men and women are still disturbed by images of birth, how breastfeeding is still unaccepted in this country…these very nourishing realities of where we come from and eating food made for an infant actually still bother us! Yet, in recent years, we see a lot of these kinds of images returning, such as in the We’moon calendar, the sacred feminine art that is being reborn. We as women, have to keep making art, keep writing our stories and celebrating ourselves as ways to continuously open up to the sacred.

TWPT: For your book where do you draw on for the images of how the sacred feminine should look and how it is still practiced in some cultures?

KK: I used several cultures in my book to portray various aspects and qualities of the sacred feminine including Native American, ancient Sumerian, Hawaiian, African, Indian. I deliberately chose goddesses who worked with the 9 archetypes AND had a myth that felt empowering. This was not easy! For example, I wanted to include a South American goddess but did not find a feminine myth that felt accessible. I’m certain there are many out there…and I found a lot of amazing masculine imagery, but wanted something that was ancient, yet could be related to contemporary women.
I feel the sacred feminine looks as many different ways as there are people out there…yet, I do feel we need to examine the stories that are told in reference to women, men, etc. I really wanted to find stories that women could relate to in a way that feels nourishing…so many myths for so long feature the goddess being raped, molested, dominated…and since stories have a powerful effect on our psyche, I think it is crucial to find stories of women who are powerful, loving, balanced and wise as well.

TWPT: Do you find that the west tends to resist the idea of powerful feminine sacred images or is that resistance more widespread?

KK: This is definitely a widespread phenomenon. In my research, I actually discovered many, many myths and stories that speak of women who first held the power of fire, or community, storytelling, weaving, and so on..and then it was stolen by men, or captured or taken over. I found this in Aboriginal myth, Native American myth, and ancient Babylonia. One of the very first stories ever written in the clay tablets of Sumer (around 2500 BCE) was the destruction of the very powerful and feminine sea serpent by Marduk, the male human warrior and his establishment of a city. Over and over again in myth, we find that women or goddesses with incredible powers and gifts which were taken over by warriors, gods, or men. Of course, that was my lens and focus. No doubt men had certain roles that shifted and changed for them especially in the changes from hunter/gatherer societies to agrarian to modern civilization.

Yet many powerful sacred feminine images exist still, especially in India where the Goddess is daily worshipped. For example, Kali is worshipped there, the fierce goddess of destruction, time and chaos (who can also be quite loving as well). So they have kept alive the Goddess and yet there are so many women’s issues in India! I actually see the sacred feminine opening up strongly in the west, as so many women now run businesses, create art, write, etc. Just a hundred years ago, women were mainly contributing in the home and now that has changed completely. This is a rare opportunity for women (and men) in the west to redefine what they feel is sacred, how to reconnect with the earth in sustainable ways.

TWPT: Tell me about the premise of Fire of the Goddess and how you structured the book to help women to discover the sacred feminine aspects of themselves?

KK: The premise of Fire of the Goddess is to provide a way for women to connect with their inner power, love and wisdom and define the sacred feminine for themselves. I structured the book on the basis of nine archetypes which I relate to as aspects of the sacred feminine. These are reflections of women, specifically and how we connect with ourselves, the earth, and our communities. As a woman, I feel we relate to the world in a specific way that is unique from men. I know that it was important for feminists of the last decades to assimilate into a kind of male oriented approach to the world…but I do think women have a tendency toward a different focus, and that needs to be explored, honored and celebrated so that we can make some changes on earth. For example, time and time again, my work with women’s groups in south India revealed that when we gave microloans to women, they would pay them back…but if the money ended up in the men’s hands…they would drink up all the money. Because women give birth and often (worldwide) do most of the domestic raising of children, they tend to think for the community and beyond.
In the west, women have the same opportunities as men, but this needs to be balanced with a sacred approach. By tapping into our inner sacred feminine, we remember certain qualities that actually promote well being and sustainability: qualities such as gratitude, mindfulness and interconnectedness.

TWPT: Why is it important for women to open up to their inner masculine?

KK: Two reasons, one we need to redefine the sacred masculine, just as we are reclaiming and redefining the sacred feminine. Carl Jung defined feminine as passive and masculine as active…yet in Indian thought, the feminine is active and dynamic while the masculine is passive and inert. When these genders get projected onto real men and women, we run into problems. If women are ‘generally’ passive we have to ask ourselves if issues of rape and domestic violence spring from this internalized view of women? (The U.S. has one of the highest rape rates in the west). I feel that if we begin to examine our views of masculine and feminine we can dissolve some of the harmful outcomes of these associations.

Secondly, balancing these within helps us to have a more grounded approach to the world. In essence, I feel that our spirit is not masculine or feminine, these are societal, cultural constructs. Yet we are contained in these bodies that express male and female and by exploring both aspects within I think we can help to heal ourselves. Often these parts of us are our parents internalized and when we start to examine what we perceive as feminine and masculine, we can change what is not working for us and support what is.
Also, this book moves toward a shamanic perspective, which calls for a lot of crossing over. We find a lot of male shamans in the past who dressed in women’s clothing, or what we might consider feminine garb to help them get out of their identity and be able to activate healing and power. When we open up to our inner masculine, we too can loosen our fixed identity and open up to a broader way of expressing ourselves.

TWPT: Why is it so difficult for us as a society to bring the sacred into our everyday lives? How is it that your book will help women to bring this sacred feminine into their daily lives?

KK: I don’t think it is difficult actually…it’s a very simple thing to bring the sacred into everyday lives…we just forget about it. My book is a reminder and offers several suggestions as to how to go about bringing in the sacred. For example, cultivating a sense of gratitude helps us to connect with the sacred. We can do this by giving an offering. Native peoples everywhere give offerings all the time to the earth…the earth sustains us completely. Many of us don’t think about that, but it only takes two minutes to consider and make a gesture. The gesture is important, as it communicates to our soul, or you could say our subconscious which connects us immediately with the sacred. If we just say it in our minds, it is not nearly as powerful as giving an offering, such as sprinkling water on the earth, or laying a flower under our favorite tree. I recently spoke with a friend who was admiring me for my ‘openness’ and how I connect with nature. I told her, she can too, I said just go outside and sit with the tree and breathe with it. Again, she said, no, I couldn’t do that…I wouldn’t ‘feel’ anything. This really portrays the issue, we block ourselves from the simplicity of connecting. When we sit outside with a tree, we all know that our oxygen comes from the tree and our carbon dioxide gives back to that tree…it is just the matter of sitting there and breathing. We can all feel our breath, we can all feel the air, the grass, see the sky above, Connecting with the sacred is not a dramatic thing, it is quite simple really.

TWPT: Why did you choose the nine particular Goddess archetypes that you used for the nine paths in your book?

KK: Great question! In all honesty, I feel they chose me! I have these moments, where energies or spirits you might say seem to hover about and give me information and the list of these archetypes was one of those moments. The final nine did vary from the original seven or so, but they really fell into place with the goddesses that wanted to be represented and their myths. I felt a lot of guidance throughout this process and for sure certain stories were longing to be heard and retold in this book. Also, I deliberately chose not to use maiden or mother, as I felt we have so much of that already, the virgin and the mother are the patriarch’s main depiction of the sacred feminine and we are definitely needing more than that!
As the goddesses fell into place, I began co-leading a Sacred Feminine workshop with one of my contemporaries, Jill Walton…we ended up devising the course to run over four months, focusing on four themes of: Power, Love, Wisdom and Integration. I remember coming home that day, after one of our first meetings, looking over my list of goddesses and the archetypes and realizing they fell into those exact categories, in that order! So, that was a clear sign.

TWPT: Do you ever foresee a time when the concept of Goddess and the sacred feminine will be accepted once again by society in general? What will it take to make that concept a reality?

KK: Yes, I do think the sacred feminine is re-emerging, I feel it’s impossible for it not to be if we are to maintain harmony with our earth. During a medicine journey, I clearly experienced what I would call the sacred feminine, the “mind of nature” or the indigenous voice of the earth…and it was so obvious that the goddess has never left, the earth is so feminine in my experience, where could she possibly have gone?
Certainly there has been immense suppression and continues to be…yet the more we repress something as many of us know, the more it rears its head in some form or another. I feel that not only has the feminine been repressed, but also all indigenous knowledge, and non-white people. For me, this is all connected to the dark mother, who is the dark feminine wisdom of the earth which I discuss in the Initiate chapter in my book. In order for the sacred feminine to rise up again fully, we will have to embrace this dark mother, our fears, our limitations and transform them into power.

TWPT: What would you like to see happen for those women who pick up your book and work through it sincerely?

KK: I would like to see women be able to use this to change their lives..to access their inner power, love and wisdom and come to a place of authenticity. I would like to see more women working together, working with nature, finding continuous ways to benefit each other and our communities. I feel women are so natural at this and if their lives are more deeply connected to the sacred, this will have such a positive effect on their choices, their families, their neighborhoods.

TWPT: How would a reader need to approach the reading and the exercises to help facilitate this process?

KK: Probably the best way would be to take their time with the book and if possible, to work with other women. Having a circle of women reflect
one’s process of reconnecting with the sacred and makes healing and transformation much stronger because the witnessing aids the healee profoundly. I would recommend going through each chapter in the book slowly and really attempting to digest the information, to tell the story of each goddess and her archetype with clarity, with other women or even children, just to really get the feel of that story going inside. A lot of us are disconnected from in person storytelling but this is an incredible way to nourish our souls.
Also, practicing the ceremonies is crucial. I have found that when we create sacred space and do even the simplest act with intention, we see dramatic changes in our life. Ceremony seems to have the almost instant effect of dissolving our egoic self and opening us up to the larger universe. When we do that, we feel so good! We feel happy, we feel connected to our family, our community as well as our spirit helpers and guides. Suddenly we remember that we are all connected that any separateness is an illusion. There is a real reason that human beings have been practicing ceremony with our earth for up to 70,000 years! It’s in our DNA, our ancestral lines to sing and dance and give offerings to our earth and what helps us along the way.

TWPT: Was your book aimed at a particular type of woman who you felt would benefit the most by reading it? Explain.

KK: My book is aimed at women who are looking for a way to connect with the sacred feminine but just don’t know how and also for women who really want to develop their own personal connection to their sacred path. Also, I wanted this book to be an opening point for women who have not connected with the divine as feminine, but on some level, are yearning for that. We have been honoring the divine as masculine for so long in the west and we need to have images, qualities, stories that are clearly feminine, clearly of black, white, yellow, brown and red. How can we find our own sacred if it is white and male? Our disconnection is a result of that limited imagery.

Also, I wanted to appeal to women who are already practicing the sacred arts and want to deepen their experience. I have met so many women who have been disenchanted by religion, or certain spiritual traditions, or gurus. And even though I have specific teachers, by no means do we need them to make our lives sacred…it's such a simple and wonderful thing to be a human, to be a woman and I wanted to present all the ideas, the stories, the ceremonies that have enabled me to connect with the sacred and the divine. I have to thank dear Bharat Mata (Mother India) and Hawai’i for this, because in both of these places, along with several others I have visited in Asia, the indigenous connection is there and I have had the opportunity to absorb it. I think the more we open ourselves to practicing sacred arts, from our own personal connection to the divine, the better our lives will become.

TWPT: What role does Reiki, chakra healing, indigenous wisdom or shamanic principles play in your work with the sacred feminine? Explain.

KK: Reiki and chakra healing are what I have been practicing for almost fifteen years. I learned this healing work originally with my Reiki Master who is a High Priestess of a Wicca tradition and all of that wove together in my work from the beginning. So, I think for me, healing became associated with the reclaiming of the sacred feminine, the Earth as our Mother, understanding the power of the Dark Mother, the moon cycles, the elements and so on. As I continued to practice healing work, I experienced many things that later turned out to be quite shamanic, visions of peoples spirit helpers, guides and power animals; guidance to suck out illness, or retrieve power for people; seeing illness in the body and so on, and so when I studied shamanism, I found that this was deeper aspect of healing work that really benefits my clients.

So, learning shamanism has been parallel to my constant research into the sacred feminine and at this point I would have to say I can’t really have one without the other. In my mind, the indigenous perspective includes wisdom such as: all things are sacred; we must honor all our relations; all of earth and her living creatures and elements are deeply interconnected; when we harm one thing (ourselves included) we harm all things. I have had several journeys where I encountered the living spirit of this earth and she is Mother to us all. Everything we have is because of her. This is the same as our own human mother. This is very obvious and simple yet many of us forget about it and I feel my work is to continuously re-member this wisdom, to put it back together, assist those who are also re-membering and help awaken those who are still forgetting. It is a wonderful time to be alive, to be part of the re-awakening!

TWPT: Any final thoughts you’d like to share with the readers of The Wiccan/Pagan Times?

KK: I would like to thank all my ancestors and spirit helpers, my teachers, my family and friends, my community and my publisher for their incredible support and guidance. I am now in the mode of traveling and teaching Reiki Warrior workshops, writing a book called ‘Reiki Warrior’ which will be a fusion of my healing arts and work with indigenous wisdom. If anyone is interested, they can see my website: www.katalinkoda.com or email me: katalinkoda@gmail.com

TWPT: I would like to thank you for taking the time to talk to me and for your insightful and informed answers. I wish you a fruitful journey in the years to come along your spiritual path.

This interview was first published at: http://www.twpt.com/katalinkoda.htm

Creating Ceremony

2011-07-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

First Published by Llewellyn Inc. at www.llewellyn.com, Creating Ceremony.

For thousands of years, human beings have honored our connection to the earth, seasons, and major life transitions through ceremony, ritual, and storytelling. These practices are the sacred technology of indigenous people and are an inherent part of our past and ancestral wisdom. The purpose of creating ceremony is to honor the life-giving forces of our earth, to simply be thankful for our water, our air, our land, and the plants and animals that dwell on the planet with us. In these current times of disconnection, feelings of lack and poverty, and polluted air and waters, the importance of creating ceremony is becoming more apparent. When we perform a ceremony we are creating more balance inside of ourselves that enables us to connect and act in a way that is in harmony with each other and the earth. From the shamanic or indigenous perspective, honoring what feeds us, clothes us, shelters us, and enables us to live is crucial to our well being and brings us into a place of right balance.

In my upcoming book, Fire of the Goddess: Nine Paths to Ignite the Sacred Feminine, I use ceremony as one of the main ways to connect to our soul or spiritual self. In the West, many of us have been estranged from the words "ceremony" or "ritual," as they may be associated with religion and dogmatic practices. Yet we find that we still create community when someone graduates, becomes pregnant, or dies. These community gatherings are the same as ceremony, regardless of religion or belief. Like ceremony, they create a space for people to gather, honor the person or event, and usually have a place for giving offerings. Yet, we can incorporate ceremony and ritual so much more into our lives and, when not constricted by following prescribed ways of connecting to our community and the earth, it can be something spontaneous and joyous. I have found that ceremonies are like seeds of light that are sprinkled in my life. The more ceremony I create, the more I allow myself to dissolve the smaller self into the connectedness of community and earth and the seeds of light expand outward like a web. These seeds then grow and illuminate my daily life, spilling over into the everyday actions. As that happens, we realize that everything is sacred, even the most mundane tasks like cleaning and paying bills, and our entire life becomes a ceremony.

When indigenous people create ceremony, they are actively seeking to dissolve their smaller selves and merge with the larger creative forces like the earth, the spirits, and the ancestors. We can also do this, as we are each indigenous to this earth. Each time we create ceremony, we feel spiritually nourished and align more clearly with our purpose. For example, creating a nature table or altar where we can place objects that inspire us (such as images of our grandmother, a goddess, or Buddha, or flowers or a candle) may be helpful. We are then physically communicating to our soul that these are qualities we wish to invoke in our lives. This also helps us to be more grateful for what we have in our lives, which then develops greater awareness and compassion for ourselves and others.

In Fire of the Goddess I explore several ways to use ceremonies to specifically connect to our inner sacred feminine. When we as both women and men tap into the power, love, and wisdom inherent on our earth and reflected in our bodies, we are able to heal, understand our life purpose, and create connection in our communities. Some examples for women are ceremonies to reclaim menses, croning ceremonies at menopause, and ceremonies to honor a pregnant friend. Men can benefit from creating ceremony to reclaim the transition into manhood and becoming a father. Both men and women together benefit from creating ceremonies to celebrate the earth, to give thanks, or to honor a person who has died.

Ceremonies can be intricate and elaborate (and include many songs, costumes, and instruments, as well as various people playing several parts) or they can be as simple as lighting a candle and giving thanks for our families, the food on the table, or the sunlight. What is essential to ceremony is the act of creating a physical form to represent your intention. Lighting a candle can signify gratitude, clarity, or awakening. Sprinkling water on our faces can symbolize cleansing or purification. Creating a wreath of leaves and flowers may portray connectedness, honoring life and things growing. Building a pile of stones can represent becoming more grounded. We might find that we start with creating simple ceremony and then grow to add different elements to symbolize more than one intention, or creating ceremony for a few reasons, such as purifying and manifesting.

Creating ceremony is the process of setting an intention and then using a form that symbolizes our intention, such as manifesting something into our lives. When we set our intention and then create and perform a symbolic action we are clearly communicating to our soul or subconscious that we are committed to creating abundance in our lives. This is very simple yet powerful because we bypass our conscious, linear mind and allow our heart to speak directly with the universe. For example, if we want to manifest a car or a new job, we could perform a simple ceremony of planting a seed, using the seed as a symbol for our manifestation. We can blow our intention into the seed and then plant it in the earth as a symbolic act; our seed will then sprout and come to life, giving us other gifts of air or food as well. By creating ceremony we are communicating from subconscious to conscious mind the freedom to take action and manifest. We are imbuing our wish or intention it with focused clarity or power, which has an effect on our life. Although the seed itself may not bring a car exactly, our focused intention will tune us in to ways that will help us manifest one in our life.

After setting an intention, we are ready to establish solid groundwork that will create an effective ceremony. I have found the following three aspects of ceremony to be helpful guides: making an altar, giving offerings, and creating sacred space. The first aspect is to create an altar or physical space to place symbolic items that represent different parts of the ceremony. An altar is simply a place that you designate as sacred. It can be a small shelf in your house, a table in your bedroom, an entire room dedicated to sacred space, or a mound of earth in the garden. Once you have chosen the space, you will want to clear it of any clutter, and perhaps but a nice cloth over it if is a table or shelf. Then, simply adorn this sacred space with things you like, such as images of things, people, or deities that inspire you; flowers and candles; incense and sage; and any other sacred objects that are meaningful to you.

The second essential aspect is making an offering. This is one of the most important actions in the sacred technology of indigenous wisdom. When I lived in India, I was surrounded by people constantly making offerings of coconuts, flowers, sandalwood, tikka powders, incense, and chanting. They would create the most beautiful plates adorned with these items and offer them to their ancestors, to the land spirits, to the animals and trees, and to their personal deity (such as Saraswati or Siva). When we do this, we are offering a small token of our gratitude and respect to the earth, water, and air; to other people and creatures that dwell with us; and the unseen world of spirits. This reminds us that we are interconnected with all things on earth and helps us to cultivate an open and thankful heart. Making an offering also reminds us that we take everything we need from the earth; it helps to cultivate right balance when we make an offering back as well. We may also choose to give specific offerings to the spirits that dwell on the land, to our ancestors, and to unseen guides and helpers. The more we offer, the more our hearts open and the more we have the opportunity to receive. Whenever someone in India, or most of the world, goes to receive teachings or healing or to make a prayer or intention, they always bring an offering. This is so important to ceremonial work and our life in general, to cultivate the act of offering and service to our earth and each other so that we can open to power, love, and wisdom within.

Next, we want to create a container or space to hold the intention for the ceremony. This helps to magnify whatever actions you perform and increases the connection to the spirits. Traditionally, many cultures use the elements of air, fire, water, and earth to help create sacred space. You may want to explore these elements and create simple ceremonies to honor each of them. For example, you can light a candle for fire, burn incense for air, fill a bowl of water for water, and sprinkle some salt for earth. Other ways to discover more about the elements is to write each one on the top of a sheet of paper and then make a list of your personal associations with that element. Do not try to analyze or over think this, just spontaneously make a list. For example, under water you may write: cleansing, purifying, ocean, liquid. You can add images, color and descriptions of the element to further connect with it. Another method is to visualize the element and evoke the qualities that you associate with it, such as the smell, color, or feeling.

Once you have visited each of the elements, you can also explore the four cardinal directions (east, south, west, and north). Calling in each of the directions (along with their associated elements) works to both honor these elements of earth as well as provide a potent space to set our intentions. Certain traditions associate specific elements with each of the directions (such air for east, fire for south, water for west, and earth for north). Although you may wish to use these, I also encourage you to explore each of the directions on your own as well, to find out more. Just as you did with the elements, you can make a list of qualities with each of the directions using words, color, and imagery. This creates a unique and personal relationship with the directions and is not bound by certain traditions. The directions and elements are directly influenced by the environment and natural world around us. Often indigenous peoples in the northern hemisphere dedicated fire to the south, while peoples in the southern hemisphere connected fire to the north, indicating the relation of the warmth in response to their location on earth. Where you live will have its own unique qualities with each of the directions.

The steps for creating a ceremony are as follows:

Set an intention. Figure out what kind of ceremony you want to create. Do you want to bring more abundance into your life? Let go of something? Find a healing solution for yourself or a family member? Any kind of ceremony is fine, whether it is a spiritual question or a mundane matter. Some examples of intentions include:
- To honor and celebrate gifts from the earth
- To ask for healing for my daughter
- To manifest a job
- To honor the passing of a friend or family member
- To connect with the element of water
- To ask for spiritual guidance
Design your ceremony. Once you have set your intention, create what you will do in your ceremony. Think about what items will represent the intention for your altar. Gather offerings for whoever is connected to your ceremony as well as offerings or candles for each of the four directions. Think of a way to represent how you can bring your intention into form. If you want to release something, you may want to write it down and then burn it. If you want cleansing, you can sprinkle water on your face. You might want to use song or drumming to magnify or increase the energy once you have created sacred space. Perhaps you want to include a few intentions in one ceremony; however, very simple ceremonies be just as powerful. You can easily add to the ceremony and allow it to be spontaneous and fun as well. Be creative! There is no wrong way to do a ceremony.
Create an altar. Create an altar specific to your intention. If you are asking for healing for someone, perhaps put their picture or something of theirs on the altar. Flowers are a nice addition along with candles.
Make an offering. Before you begin your ceremony, make an offering to anything that has helped you along the way. Perhaps offer to the spirits, Universe, God/dess, whatever feels comfortable. You can also make an offering to the earth. An offering can be a flower, sprinkling water or salt, singing a song, or shaking a rattle.
Create sacred space. This can be done by calling in the directions and/or elements as you have explored above. You can also make offerings to each of the directions specifically. If you want to enhance the energy, add a song, drum, or rattle to help intensify the power that you are connecting to.
Performing ceremony. Do the action you planned. Blow your intentions into a seed and plant them. Pour water on the earth to symbolize healing for the earth. Write down and burn what you need to clear. Perhaps you feel the need to spontaneously dance or add something during the ceremony.
Close the sacred space. When you are finished, make sure to close your sacred space. Thank each of the directions and elements that you have chosen to work with.

From the shamanic perspective, when we make a ceremony we are communicating directly with the spirits. When we choose to make offerings to the spirits and align ourselves with them, we may find that they begin to talk back to us. Ceremonies may come in dreams or visions, and even if they seem peculiar, they often reveal something that needs healing in our lives. Indigenous people have been honoring the earth, her inhabitants, and the spirits for up to 50,000 years. Thus, we have thousands of generations that have evolved working with this earth and we do not have to look far to find that ceremonies have played a crucial role in our connections to this planet. By creating our own ceremony we too can reconnect with the earth, empower ourselves, heal, and transform into more balanced humans.

Interview with the Wiccan/Pagan Times

2011-06-30T05:41:00.000-07:00

Check out my interview with the Wiccan/Pagan times!

Fire of the Goddess: Coming Full Circle

2011-06-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

My new book, Fire of the Goddess is already available for sale! The publishers are releasing her a bit early and through a funny twist of fate, I was not at my home in Hawaii to receive the first copies. My husband has received them, friends and family have started to receive them...but I have yet to smell the pages of my very own writing in a brand new book fresh off the printer.

Oddly, this feels kind of perfect, for a few reasons. One, that this book never felt like it 'belonged' to me. Or even came from me, but rather through me. The entire process of the book was guided by the sacred feminine, the divine Goddess and all her forms. Many dreams and coincidences pointed the way, which often felt circular and never linear. Much of the book was born out of my interactions with women all over the globe and what I felt was the ways we could all help to open and celebrate our female version of power, love and wisdom.

Most of the last two years, I felt like I was writing the book in the midst of chaos. My family life, online work, other writing, social activity, paying bills all swirled through my life, over the kitchen table where I also researched extensively and wrote this book. Needless to say, I almost felt like I never had a handle on things...like the book itself was dissolving as I created it. In my research, Chaos turned out to be a fitting term, as it also historically relates to the Goddess. An original word for Goddess was Chaos which describes our emergence from the dark, wet, wild wombs of women. In this way, chaos is perfect, it keeps us from trying to control what is uncontrollable anyway...allows us to open to the wisdom of nature, the wild and our hearts.

My book Fire of the Goddess is now available for sale by both my publishers at Llewellyn and Amazon

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

Contemplating Impermanence

2011-06-19T18:49:00.001-07:00

We are mortal
we are all to expire
we all are meant to die on earth
like a painting
we will all fade
…like a flower
we will wilt
here on earth
meditate upon this, eagle and tiger masters
even if you were made of jade
even if you were made of gold
you will also go
to the place of rest.
We must awaken.
No one will be left.

‎(King Netzahualcóyotl, ruler of Texcoco from 1431 to 1472)

Returning Home

2011-06-19T18:48:00.000-07:00

I have returned to ‘home,’ or the place I grew up most of my childhood years, to the balmy early summer of Maryland. Surrounded by maple and oak trees, squirrels and chipmunks which my daughter finds exotic having spent most of her life in the tropics, I relax into a feeling of being native, or indigenous. I have been using this word as a way to reconnect to the sacred feminine. When I looked it up, it is defined as being native to a place, being natural or inherent. Even in this global community of traipsing to a fro, we are all native to the earth. Even though we use foods and products from every corner of the earth, we are all still indigenous to the land, the air, the plants, the rivers, the stones, the trees. We are interconnected where ever we go and to find ourselves there, to be present, is to be indigenous.

My upcoming book is about to be released, “Fire of the Goddess” and I suggest in there to find a local goddess, or a powerful feminine that is connected to the land we live in. Having lived in India and Hawaii for the last decade, that is much more obvious than the Maryland DC area. After a bit or research, I found out that some of the names of the native peoples who once lived here, were the Piscataway, Choptank, Pocomoke and Patuxent peoples. Upon further examination, maps from the 1600′s revealed dozens of different groups with varied languages and customs. Most of these people were the first contact groups made by white settles. Many if not most were killed or displaced by white settlers by the 1700′s and few remain as descendants from the original people of these lands. The one recognized group of Maryland that remains today is the Piscataway-Conoy Confederacy.

I have yet to find a sacred feminine myth of this area, but will keep perusing the library shelves for a shred of legend that might of survived these hundreds of years. In the meantime, I am planting my bare feet on this Maryland earth, listening to cardinals and blue jays waiting for night to descend to watch the lightning bugs begin their ethereal show.

New Website

2011-05-02T19:20:00.001-07:00

My blog is now available at: www.katalinkoda.com

Please visit me there!

Whoever Brought me Here

2011-02-01T13:01:00.001-08:00

All day I think about it, then at night I say it.
Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,
and I intend to end up there

This drunkenness began in some other tavern.
When I get back around to that place,
I'll be completely sober. Meanwhile,
I'm like a bird from another continent, sitting in this aviary.
The day is coming when I fly off,
but who is it now in my ear who hears my voice?
Who says words with my mouth?

Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul?
I cannot stop asking.
If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way.
Whoever brought me here, will have to take me home.

This poetry. I never know what I'm going to say.
I don't plan it.
When I'm outside the saying of it,
I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.

~Rumi

Trans. Coleman Barks.

Hopelessness and Crazy Wisdom

2011-01-20T12:52:00.000-08:00

We recently held a philosophy tea in Puna, to discuss the very noble, yet almost ridiculous question, "What is the meaning of Life?" In the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, that answer is simply, 42. As a friend on Facebook commented, 'Trying to find the meaning of life is like trying to find the meaning of grapefruit.' In essence, it seems that the more we try to examine this question the more it turns into a house of conceptual cards, ready to disintegrate at any moment. I have since been thinking how our discussion that afternoon could have gone a bit deeper, to incorporate how, indeed do we not only find meaning in our lives, but how do we contend with the suffering and sorrow that may arise; or the very real suffering that is happening every day in the world. It is all well and good to say, we just have to find our bliss and follow it, but how might that apply to a woman in a place of constant physical abuse and social harm in Bangladesh? Or to someone dying of thirst because access to wells is so limited or the arsenic poison is too high? These questions are tricky and hard to navigate in their complexity.

When I start to face these inner thoughts, the Buddhist perspective becomes useful. One of my favorite teachers is Chogyam Trungpa who brought Tibetan Buddhism to the west, encouraging people through mindfulness, meditation and direct experience. In his discussion on crazy wisdom, he mentions that one of the key elements to walking the spiritual path is the quality of hopelessness. Lately, when I encounter spirituality, people often resort to faith and staying positive, especially in America; but Trungpa's approach, to get to a place of 'hopelessness' seems to be the very antithesis of western or American positivity. Yet, it makes more sense as I contemplate his words. They lead me to a deep place of dissolution, where the fixed notion of self and ego can simply fall away and I no longer have to hope or wish or have faith in anything; I only have to be here and present. Thus an immense freedom arises in this kind of awareness, a freedom of non-self and without judgment. I am simply here, without needing 'to be' anywhere, or anything, without hope, without expectation, without necessity. When I breathe deeply into this immense freedom it seems than any experience could be one of wonder and awe; even the experience of physical suffering or social ills.

I remember when I was in India I had an experience of this kind of freedom. I was leaving the Sivananda ashram for our day off, traveling by bus to Varkala, where my husband and I lived, a small village on the west coast, right on the ocean of South India. I had been practicing yoga and meditation for three weeks with a group of 150 yoga practitioners during teacher training. I was feeling very calm, balanced, and clear from so much practice. I felt alive and fresh. Leaving the ashram, meant we were leaving our quiet and peaceful oasis of beautiful gardens and a serene lakeside community to travel through the chaos of people, smells, color, and suffering that characterizes the roads of India. As we rode along in the bus, I was amazed to recognize that I felt so calm and centered that every moment was distinct and powerful. Each smell catapulted me into wonder, even the smells that were normally 'horrible!' The smell of fish, feces and incense were each so unique and so vibrant. Similarly, each human walking along was simply an expression of clear, brilliant existence, even when they were colored with anger, wildness, sickness or suffering. It was all simply part of the dance.

When I am overwhelmed by feelings of suffering, my own inner anger, shame or sorrow, I try to go deeper, to find that place of hopelessness as it relieves from feeling as if I need to 'do' something to help the negative emotions. In Trungpa's words: "the process is one of going further in and in and in without any reference point of spirituality, without any reference point of a savior, without any reference point of goodness, or badness--without any reference points whatsoever! Finally, we might reach the basic level of hopelessness, of transcending hope...This process of discovery automatically recharges itself so that we keep going deeper and deeper and deeper. This process of going deeper and deeper is the process of crazy wisdom, and it is what characterizes a saint in the Buddhist tradition." (from "Padmasambhava and Spiritual Materialism" in The Essential Chogyam Trungpa, p. 53-4)

Green and Yellow with a Dash of Purple

2011-01-12T11:40:00.000-08:00

The universe seems to be speeding up! So much has happened in my internal world since Solstice, that it feels impossible to capture it all in a wee blog post...thus it feels it is a time for poetry and images. A dear friend asked me the other night...so, what's the forecast for the year? What popped in my head is: "Green and Yellow...with a Dash of Purple..." and seriously, that is the latest theme. The light of a recent ceremonial journey into DreamTime was infused with yellow and green..the light of Hawaii and the ulu (breadfruit) tree as the afternoon sun dances across the landscape. I feel inside and reflected by those around me that it is a time of intense growth and expansion, wonder and mystery. A time to face shadows, pull them out and do the wild dance with each of our selves, our brothers and our sisters. The color purple speaks of majestic moments, mystery and moving deeper into the unknown. Below are images of our garden in India that resonate with my Hawaiian life today: the weave of past and future into present. Also, my shamanista journey painting of moving through yellow skies with sister Jaguar, re-membering the soul fragments and healing self and Self.

the secret garden

chicken bones and mossy stones

hibiscus brilliant flower

eagle flown past the rainy hour

of immense monsoon power

a vermillion tone casts light unknown

over a quiet gnome in a garden home

where the secret garden grows,

nobody knows

elephant ears bent listenin’

fronds and flowers spinnin’

under moonlit glows

and i suppose

you’d like to go

where the secret garden grows

under thunderclouds lightning crackles

frogs beat loud under the crow cackles

off sticky spackle

on the garden path, left to dry

where elven spry sometimes lie

a melodic laugh sung through green

they remain unseen

but if your eyes go soft

heart unlocks,

you’ll see a quiet dream

between world gleams

Happy Winter Solstice

2010-12-21T10:09:00.000-08:00

The eclipse passed us by last night with only darker clouds to witness the moon changes under the heavy rains of Puna. The dawn brings more clouds, the iron woods and coconuts, mango and avocado trees brilliant greens against the gray morning. Unlike past years, for me this Winter Solstice will be spent in quieter contemplation with my immediate family, making gratitudes and hanging them on a tiny golden tree that serves various purposes throughout the year. This year Yoko has the chicken pox and the pouring rain has made it less important to make ceremony outdoors, but instead reflect more inward on the traditional time of light returning.

Winter Solstice marks the original honoring of the light returning in the northern hemispheric cultures. Derived from the Latin meaning, solstice means ‘sun’ and ‘stand’ when the day appears to almost hold still, take a deep breath in as we turn toward days becoming longer once again. In Wicca tradition, Yule has been carried over from these northern Europeans and reclaimed as the honoring of the Sun King’s return, the brilliance of light emerging, all woven into today’s christmas trees and Yule logs. In other words, Solstice is ‘the real reason for the season.’

Whether we focus on this time or not, it is certainly an earth shift and the days will begin to stretch out and grow longer, like a bear waking from her winter naps. In Hawaii it is warm(ish) now and mild all year round, so this is less of an impact, although the light certainly changes and I can feel the marked difference especially after so many years in India. In the past, we have done everything from elaborate ceremony with calling the directions, connecting with family and friends, giving offerings and drum journeys to simply lighting candles and opening our hearts in quietness. Having been trained in Wicca so many years ago, I feel a connection for honoring our dear earth during these obvious natural shifts and changes. Yet, these past months I have been doing far less ceremony and climbing ever steadily toward the inner worlds of meditation, dream and journey work...incubating you might say...in preparation for, perhaps more outward ceremonial dance in the future, or something else altogether... On the equinox, we gathered with friends and sat by the fire, with no plan, or preparation and the nature was ceremonial in her response: a moonbow beside the pacific ocean, lava glowing in the distance, songs and sweets all around. This reminds me that our entire lives, really are one big long sacred dance in the multiverse pulse of creative wild energies. This is my real witness and offer to my self and my community this Solstice: may our lives be an offering to our selves, to each other, to the wonders of the earth and the universe in each unique unfolding moment.

Thus, I wish you all a Happy Solstice as we continue the dance in the brilliance of sun and light, rain and growth…

Within and Without

2010-11-30T15:38:00.000-08:00

As the darkness extends her soft warm hands across the nights, I feel I am moving more deeply into the surreal landscape of dreams. Sometimes, when I awake, it is clear to me that this world feels more like a dream than my dream experiences of the passing night: experiences that dance between pre-cognition, astral travel, lucid dreaming and of course a plethora of ordinary dreams that mirror my streams of mental and emotional states. Dreams are a constant reflection of our mind and report through the mysterious symbolism of the subconscious. It seems the closer I pay attention to them, the more is revealed to me, about myself and others in the community.

Queen of Dreams

2010-11-10T14:15:00.000-08:00

This Halloween I was the Queen of Dreams. I created a headpiece from galvanized steel and a variety of objects that are floating around my house including small dreamcatchers which I trained women in India to make; finger puppets; ribbons and pipe cleaners; sparkling circles; beads and velvet. These giant horns, which are really like an art piece took on a life of their own, particularly at a wild electronic dance party deep in the Puna jungle. Wearing all velvet and feeling quite Queenly, I managed to dance slowly, drawing in the power of my shamanic DreamBody. I had a bag full of phrases that spoke of qualities which evoked the qualities of dreams: mysterious, perplexing, beautiful, haunting and even painful. I was astonished at how perfectly the dream phrases seemed to capture some of the recipients...leaving them charmed, perplexed or irritated, not unlike Dreams themselves. The horns seem to connect me into the ethers all night and I felt as I were floating through DreamTime.

This creation also reflects my deep desire to write a book on Dreams. I have had such an amazing dream life thus far and feel drawn to explore that further. I feel there are many kinds of dreams, just as there are many kinds of thoughts and perceptions. I am interested in working with our ordinary dreams, the mundane reflections of our personal emotional qualities juxtaposed against our visionary dreams, the ones that carry mythic realities. Visionary dreams include the magick of precognitive dreams, visions, healing dreams and lucid dreaming. I look forward to each night which is filled with journey, adventure, information and interesting meetings. Dreams seem to be an incredibly rich resource and many of us are barely working with them. Sometimes, especially when I have a serious of precognitive dreams (where I dream the future), it seems this awakened life really is only the tip of the iceberg of my multidimensional being.

Aboriginals of Australia have spoken of the Dreamtime for thousands of years. They believe that dreams are more real than awakened reality and that we are all the dream of our mythical ancestors. Sometimes we touch this complex Dreamtime at night, or when taking certain substances, dancing for hours or meditating. We all can recall a kind of dream that is different from the ordinary reflection of our day-to-day emotional and mental states; a dream that speaks of something much bigger than our small selves. These dreams are often tinged with golden colors or are brilliant in nature and stay in our hearts like seeds, growing over the years. Opening up to our dreams enable us to live a life that is full of mystery, wonder and power. We may also find ourselves imbued with better intuition, having spontaneous healings and receiving incredible wisdom when we work more deeply with our dreams.

Puna Meditation Circle

2010-11-08T12:34:00.000-08:00

“Finding the Natural Freedom of the Mind”

Weekly Meditation

Wednesdays 5 pm – 6 pm

Join us for meditation practice in a welcoming and informal setting. We aim to provide a place where anyone, whether completely new to meditation or a practitioner of any spiritual tradition, will feel comfortable.
Our sessions will begin with an invitation to generate an altruistic motivation for our practice. This will be followed by two 20-minute sittings with five minutes of walking meditation in between. At the end we will conclude with a moment of dedication.

Simple instructions will be provided for those new to meditation.

The meetings will take place at Ramashala, 12-7208 Kapoho-Kalapana Beach Rd. (Rt. 137) – on the mauka (mountain) side of the red road between Laau Loke Street and Kehena beach.

Donation suggested.

Chairs and cushions are available but you are welcome to bring your own.

For further information please email: punameditationcircle@gmail.com or call 769-7645.

Inspired

2010-10-13T17:38:00.000-07:00

Landing back in Hawaii I am coursing with a summer long flow of inspiration. As the word, 'inspire, inspire, inspire' dances through my mind, I became curious about its deeper meanings. To my surprise, inspire is not related to spires, but derives from the Latin word 'inspirare' which literally means to 'breath into, upon, or in.' Another version is 'God breathed' or 'the product of the creative breath of God.' I like this image of breath and of course can then relate it to the word 'Aloha' which, besides hello and goodbye, also means

alo, 1. sharing 2. in the present
oha, joyous affection, joy
ha, life energy, life, breath

To share the breath, this is the beauty of life; to breathe and be breathed by the wondrous connections we dance with one another.

A friend, a father has died; swept away into the pacific blue by brilliant wild tumultuous waves...leaving behind his small son, his mother, his family... Such a shock, such tragic beauty come and gone ... Rubybleu comes to mind and all those who've passed on to the mysterious other side..

Let's remember to breathe, to be inspired to be born anew each day...each precious day.

Thai Cooking Class

2010-08-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

We swirled back into Bangkok alight with island love to spend four final days with my sister, going to Thai cooking class, seeing Toy Story in 3-D IMAX (everything is so affordable and over the top in this wondrous Bangkok) and getting highlighted hair. After dipping in and out of Thailand for the last three months, I have swooned over the culinary delights of this place more than ever before. Somehow, staying in Thong Lor this time, a kind of expat, high end(ish) Thai area I really felt like we were living in Bangkok instead of just traveling through. This area boasts the famous Soi 38 which is well known for its fantastic street food. I think I've already detailed this place in previous Bangkok posts in light of my new food obsessions, but I would say again that its well worth a visit if you are passing through. Just near the Thong Lor BTS stop, Soi 38 opens around 5 in the evening and you can find all the wondrous delights of Thai cooking: pad Thai, green, red and yellow curries, thom ka, fresh passion fruit juice and coconuts, thom yum soup, mango sticky rice (which I finally tried for the first time)...

For my birthday, I treated myself to two mornings of an intensive cooking class to bring home some of these foods into my kitchen. The school is called Silom Thai Cooking School and is in Silom area of Bangkok, an easy walk from the Chong Nansi BTS stop. I arrived and found my class was about 12 students. Our teacher, whose name I never got, was incredibly focused, efficient and professional. He welcomed us on the street and proceeded to lead us to the nearby market where we purchased all kinds of foods for our day's cooking. Not only did he buy the foods, he explained each thing we bought and how it used in Thai cooking. For example, they use four kinds of gingers, three kinds of basil, three kinds of noodles, kaffir lime and lemongrass (absolutely essential to Thai cooking), several kinds of chili peppers at different ages, several kinds of eggplant, coconut, and the list goes on...

We went back to the cooking school, our baskets loaded with incredibly fresh ingredients and got right to work. I attended two days so had the opportunity to prepare and cook different dishes. The first day I cut up chicken pieces...I haven't cooked meat in almost ten years, so that was interesting! I have been eating it, especially in Thailand, and am ready to embrace a bit of chicken in my kitchen. The second day I helped prepare the gingers, basil and kaffir lime leaves, lemongrass and chilies by washing and plucking leaves. After preparing the meat, vegetables and spices we went into another room where we were each given a plate and a cutting board on the floor. Sitting on mats, our teacher told us which vegetables and herbs to grab out of the giant basket in the center (all washed by the class) for our first dish: Tom Yum soup. (Notice YUM in the name :)

Much to my surprise, Thai cooking, after collecting and preparing the ingredients is incredibly fast. We took our plates of lemongrass, kaffir lime leaves, chilies, fish sauce, chili paste and so on out to a row of woks, turned on high heat, dumped everything in, cooked it all in ten minutes (maybe even less!) and voila! Ready to eat...and sooo good! Each dish was similar: collect ingredients, dump in wok, high heat, eat! For the curries, we prepared fresh pastes by pounding the ingredients (including cumin seeds, black peppercorns, coriander seeds, gingers, chilis, and other herbs that vary for each curry) for several minutes in massive granite mortar pestles. The pastes can stay in the fridge for up to two months. After making the paste, the process is again, dump everything into the wok and cook on high heat. There are of course variances on when to add stuff (especially for pad Thai, the stir-fried noodle dish) but overall incredibly simple. The key to the whole thing is really really fresh ingredients which I have discovered can be a bit challenging upon our return to Hawaii. Luckily, we do have almost all the ingredients, even kaffir lime leaves! All of the Thai herbs grow easily here and I even used my own homegrown lemongrass for my first pad thai (which came out quite delicious I must say). The other key thing is having the right supplies so I brought back a large granite mortar pestle (yeah, its really heavy) to make fresh curry pastes along with a kind of flat ended spatula that is perfect for wok cooking. And treated myself to a brand new wok. Back to home cooking in Hawaii...which I must say, although I have become a foodie over the summer, I really did not miss the three meal a day thinking of what to make routine.

We learned several other dishes in class including a few Thai salads like the chicken salad and green mango salad, deserts including mango sticky rice and rubies in coconut milk (this calls for red Fanta!...not sure about that one) and chicken with cashew nuts. I can highly recommend the class and you can check it out at:
http://www.bangkokthaicooking.com for more information. Our teacher also gave us large recipe books to take home and encouraged us to email him any questions we might have.

Overall, the experience was fascinating and I felt a bit closer to Thai culture, especially since it is one that revolves so heavily around fresh food. Thai people seem to eat all day long, smaller portions filled with tasty herbs and spices and are certainly slimmer than our average American population. I have heard eating piles of chilies keeps you really healthy! I'm glad I ended up doing the class just before we left so I could remember what we learned as we re-enter the homeland and take up domestic arts once again.

Koh Phangan: Bliss Island Love Light

2010-08-28T17:02:00.000-07:00

I know that the words bliss, love, and light all in one title makes you think of New Age Airy Fairy...but wow, Koh Phangan island really does radiate a kind of dreamy experience. Yoko, Leon and I certainly drifted into golden love bubbles of with endless swimming, frolicking and eating that is still resonating my soul calling me back and forth between this time zone and the next. Koh Phangan which means something like Island of Sand Bars (hm, that sounds much nicer in Thai) is one of several islands of the southeastern coast of Thailand. Leon and I were there ten years ago together (unbelievable, ten years!) and it has definitely developed a lot since then. Prices have gone up all over the place but you can still find the super chill out beach spots even amidst the myriad of resorts and Yoga centers.

We stayed at the lovely Mai Pen Rai bungalows which were a bit pricey for our budget, (almost $20 a night) but the extraordinary beach was well worth it. The swimming was divine, the food excellent, the family just lovely. No dramas, no obstacles except the fast disappearing budget and a few too many weird bites across my back..., just relaxing and swimming, eating green curry, gorgeous fresh fish, drinking Singh beers and watching the sunrise over the ocean every morning...no wonder I got a bit fatter!

Leon and I had a rush of fond memories from our days running Rubybleu House. Although we didn't have a restaurant, we well remember the incredible times we had hosting people from all over the world, constantly learning new things and sharing wild traveler tales. I had the chance to do a bit of energy work with new friends and remembered how much time I used to spend letting Reiki pour out of my hands...seems like the good ole days, except that our life in Hawaii is pretty alright too. There's no doubt I deeply love traveling though as it is one of the most inspiring things for a teller of tales. Indeed, Than Sadet beach poured an immense amount of fresh new insight into my soul, that is moving me too begin serious work on the second SLADE novel.

We were extremely fortunate in that the family running the place, (Thai man and his Scottish wife) have two girls, one four and one six. You can imagine how happy Yoko was to run with little half Thai nature girls who also speak English. This was something that she found a bit challenging throughout our trip, that when we did meet kids, if they didn't have much English it was hard to connect. Meeting little Lily and Rosalie was lucky and they all really had a nice time.

For me, the main highlights of Koh Phangan were: sitting at the back of the guest house where they've built little huts over the river and watching the monitor lizards cruise slowly back and forth grabbing snacks from the kitchen; after midnight swims in the ocean with glowing electric phosphorescence; dancing wildly on the beach with my sister, the only other American around for miles (until we met a whole group of them...albeit all expats and as far away from America as they could get!); ridiculously good Thai curries, and swimming for hours in one of the best swimming seas EVER: no waves, salty flotation, piles of gorgeous rocks to mark the laps, soft sandy bottom...really, I'm going back one of these days! Anyone want to come?

Check out Mai Pen Rai at: http://thansadet.com/index.php

After two and a half weeks on the eastern side of the island, we headed to the west to stay just north of Thang Sala (the small port town which now boasts three 7-11s!) We stayed in the first bungalows ever built on the island twenty-odd years ago on a very shallow and and not very swimmable bay but with excellent shell finding opportunities. I needed to get back online, which I must say I really had to drag myself back into it. Luckily there was free wi-fi at the restaurant next to ours which overlooked the stunning bay, fresh breezes and of course, yummy Thai food. As I started working again, reflecting on the last three months, I was overcome with such an immense gratitude and wonder at the beauty of this world and for the courage to follow my heart across the wide open earth...

Back in the 'Kok: a final rant before i fall offline. or, 'Fanta at the Spirit House'

2010-08-09T00:35:00.000-07:00

I know that title is rude, but I just can't help myself; it suits this sultry, sexy, tasty city. Reentry was a bit rough: leaving the intensity of Boudhanath and Nepal, where spiritual activity is radiating out full force, I felt a wave of sorrow as we departed one of my soul homes. We left on a morning when thousands of people dressed in orange, walking barefoot were making their way to Pashupatinath to honor Shiva. Sigh...why, oh why, can't their be activities like this in the States? I want to walk barefoot, all in orange with hundreds of other people, little brass tridents to give offerings to sacred waters...don't you?

Kind of like jetlag, it took me a few days to get back into the swing of Bangkok, back into enjoying endless culinary delights, riding in cheap air conditioned taxis and seeing movies in 3D. I feel spoiled! I really loved seeing 'The Last Airbender,' my first 3D experience. It was the perfect blend of east meets west in mythic fantasy tale (albeit the acting wasn't ace; the plot was juicy). I even got a tear in the eye for Ang the Avatar and his deep love for his teacher. I completely relate to this feeling in my own devotion to my teachers who similarly radiate a level of compassion, wisdom and vulnerability that reduces my well-planned defenses quite effectively. These are the wisdom seeds I seek to nurture as I reintegrate back into the wild savoriness of Bangkok and the eventual return to Hawai'i. Thankfully Puna has a bit more soul and spiritedness than most places on the mainland...well, I suppose that it is everywhere, its just a matter of looking, finding and recreating.

Which is what my book (um yes, I'm still writing) is all about: looking, finding and recreating a sacred way of living for women. We have lost some wisdom over these past two thousand years of mayhem and now is the time to heal the wounds, celebrate the life and move into sacred buoyant activity. One thing I like about Asia is that because the people are not rooted in a monotheistic belief system (meaning one god or die/hell/bear the pain and suffering forever idea), they tend to integrate what we in the West consider 'profane' along with their 'sacred.' It is an everyday reality that we are all sacred. The most glamorous malls here all have spirit houses and they give them Fanta. I just love that. Why not? Why shouldn't Fanta be sacred? I know of course that there are some issues going on in the World ... obviously certain inabilities to honor the earth has led to some nightmarish situations with BP and all the rest... However I do think it is in our capacity to bring different worlds together, to better blend what we love to do with abundance, sacredness, joy and peace. Instead of being so adamantly right and wrong, black and white, we can be inspired by diversity and all the shades, use corporations wisely or bring drumming and naps into business activity...thus Fanta at the spirit house.

This is turning into a rambling rant, so I'll just sum up: Be yourself; enjoy the Life; eat good food; Play, make art, dance, wear orange and carry tridents; Do Your Best; try not to take anything personally; Love your peeps, your family, your friends, even when they are annoying as hell and especially when they are annoying you; go Softly with those who are wounded and go Powerfully to create the world you want to live in...

I am falling offline for a couple weeks...goodbye and see you on the other side of this wondrous world...

Dr. Sarita's Clinic and School Visit

2010-07-22T18:48:00.000-07:00

Our visit with Dr. Sarita Shrestha, her clinic and the rural school in Sipadole was definitely the highlight of our Nepal trip. We took a taxi through the rain along bumpy, muddy back roads to Bhaktapur, an ancient Newar town which is listed as a World Heritage by UNESCO for its rich culture, temples, and wood, metal and stone artwork. We bounced along past the beautiful Newari style buildings, typical Nepali low doorways and treasure filled shops to the muddy, chaotic bus stand where we met up with Dr. Sarita. We had been there seven years before and it was almost unrecognizable in the massive development that has taken place. Brick buildings and endless road construction mar the once quaint and peaceful entrance to Bhaktapur; I was surprised and understood that feeling that long time travelers have when they say..."Yeah, I remember when ...such and such place had no traffic (or tourists, or buildings)..it was amazing, man..." Well, such is the traveler's lens on developing world.

Dr. Sarita was beautiful and glowing as usual. One of my Reiki students commented that you just feel better when you are around her, regardless of her magic Ayurvedic brews. And it is true, she is one of those people who is able to radiate an immense amount of joy, clarity and peacefulness...it is her nature really. She also clearly knows what she wants and goes for it. Seven years ago she told me how she wanted to run yoga camps at her center, grow and harvest herbs for Ayurvedic medicines, educate women on natural birth and buy a bigger piece of land. She has begun all of these projects and has now acquired the land she needs, creates medicines, runs yoga camps each year and also hosts interns besides going to the West every year and teaching Ayurveda. We were thrilled to be able to give her the generous donations from our friends and family which she will use in her continuous good work. She has a lovely website now at: http://www.saritashrestha.org/

We arrived at her humble clinic in the village Sipadole, just above Bhaktapur. There, not much has changed since we were first there. She did mention that although they had several natural births in the clinic, that nowadays, most women go to the hospital because they receive money from the government. She still does prenatal and birth education work and the clinic was able to recently purchase a sonogram machine. They are developing their Panchakarma center at the clinic as well as continuously running the camps and hosting students who want to learn Ayurveda.

After rubbing salt on our legs to ward off the leeches, Sarita guided us up the mountain to a small, rural school named Doleshwor School . The students were very excited to greet us. They ushered us into the modest principal's office and gave us flowers and kataks (white scarves) and we showed them what we had brought from Hawaii. They gathered the children together into their upstairs room. The room was very simple, just concrete floors and windows, raw and basic. The children sat happily on the floor thrilled to have visitors from so far away.

We presented Hawaii to the kids, just as we presented Nepal to Yoko's kindergarten. At Yoko's school, Kua O Ka La, we told the children about Nepal, the mountains, the gods and goddesses and the various medicinal herbs. In Nepal we told the children about the ocean, the volcano and the goddess Pele, surfing and underwater creatures. They were fascinated, especially by the surfing; they had never heard of this before! With Sarita translating, we showed them where Hawaii is on the globe as well as the beautiful pictures and stories the children had written about Pele, the use of local Hawaiian plants, hula and surfing. Both the students and teachers seemed to really enjoy the presentation and happily accepted our offer to become sister schools. A week later we received beautiful drawings from the Nepali children to bring back with us to Hawaii...indeed a bridge across two of the most diverse landscapes in the world has been built.

Vajrayogini Temple

2010-07-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

Yoko and I headed off an an adventure to Sankhu, a small village just ten miles away from Boudhanath. This village has a temple dedicated to Vajrayogini perched atop a small mountain. In case you're wondering, the reason Leon isn't always accompanying us is because, simply, his knees aren't up for climbing mountains, stairs, long winding roads... As he listed off his incredible journeys over the years, and all that ice hockey, all the mountains he has climbed, vistas he has experienced, ladders he has gone up and down, ice he has skated...it moved me to tears. A lesson of the Vajrayogini, of beauty and power that meets death and impermanence time and time again...

Hopping on the bus just outside the Boudha gate on a gorgeous sunny morning, we rode along the bumpy, pot hole laden rocky roads towards Sankhu. Just a few minutes out of the city stream of brick houses and buildings in never ending stages of development and decay, is the village: brilliant green rice fields, large trees, herds of goats, women in red bent over in the fields, weeding and clearing the way for their precious harvest which is coming soon. This month is dedicated to Shiva and the women wear their wedding colors often, the most brilliant vermilion red along with yellow and green. They are the colors of the earth, the green growing rice, the red of blood and the yellow sun shining down. Everywhere one goes in Kathmandu, the eyes are delighted by the sight of these colors flowing along in women's saris, shawls and bangles.

We arrived in the small village of Sankhu which is still considered a traditional Newari village. Newari people are the descendants of indigenous Nepalis, which is actually a mix of people, as Nepal rests between India and China. The people are a mixture of Hindu Buddhist and honor all kinds of deities, seasons, moons and nature spirits as well as the Buddha and major Hindu deities such as Ganesh and Durga. The festivals and pujas (rituals) of Newaris resemble the Hinduism of India but includes Tibetan traditions such as giving kata (white scarves).

Just outside of Sankhu, atop a very high hill (small mountain), resides the temple dedicated to Vajrayogini, a goddess found in both Hinduism and Buddhism. Vajrayogini is one of the most potent images of the Sacred Feminine and although I did not include her in my forthcoming book as a specific archetype or myth, she was certainly a guiding force on the journey. Vajrayogini literally means 'diamond or thunderbolt yogini,' the all powerful female yogi.

She is considered one of the highest yogic tantric deities in Tibetan Buddhism and is often the first yidam a practitioner receives when committing to the Vajrayana path of Tantra (not to be confused with the westernized Hindu Tantra of sexual, sensual explorations, meditations and visualizations). Tibetan Buddhist Vajrayana, or Tantra, is the highest level of practice and, although may incorporate a consort, it is not really a sexual practice. According to www.khandro.net an informative website that explores the many facets of Tibetan Buddhism, Hinduism and various eastern traditions states that "Sexual yoga can also be practiced with the objective of acquiring certain impressive abilities, accomplishments or siddhis. However, enhanced sexual experience is not the objective of any genuine yogic system or tantric tradition. That would go against the very foundation of a view that sees all beings as part of a greater whole that encompasses several different realms of existence; in which beings are dependant on each other, and where experience has consequences far beyond one's own desires or immediate knowledge." In other words, the potent practices of advanced Tantric practitioners go far beyond sexuality because the ability to transform desire, anger, hatred, greed and ignorance are the powers ascribed to these advanced Yogins and Vajrayogini herself.

In the meantime, most of us do what we can each day to deal with these waves of powerful emotions. Vajrayogini acts as a reminder that we continuously have a choice in our actions and responses to those seemingly aggravating, tempting, infuriating forces that play between us and the external world. She reminds us that all of life, really is an illusion, thus holding her chopper blade, to slice away our delusions and dancing wildly, freely, naked and in total abandon, yet so precise and clear. She is almost always red and usually youthful, although some of her stories depict her as a hag as well. Newari people worship her by giving her blood sacrifices which Yoko and I witnessed directly on our journey to visit the temple.

We climbed up the mountain with a nice dog guide leading the way and several women carrying large woven baskets around their head in the traditional village style. The rice fields spread out before us as we climbed higher and higher, passing small chortens, a yoni stone statue in a pond, statues covered in red tikka powder with grains of rice and red flowers as offerings. We arrived first at the Bhairava shrine, a massive triangular stone that has arched stone cobra carving above it and blood, tikka, rice and flowers smeared across it. Bhairava is the fierce manifestation of Shiva, counterpart to the bloodthirsty and wild Kali. As Yoko and I rested, a family came along and sacrificed a chicken, right there! We were a little startled, or I was at least. Yoko seemed to take it all in stride, even being the complete vegetarian that she is. The man who sacrificed the chicken muttered a few prayers, all the while plugged into his iPod. Ah, modern Nepal.

The steep stone staircase continued up the mountain, the air only getting clearer and fresher as we climbed through a lovely forest, finally to the Vajrayogini temple itself. We gave our offerings of incense and flowers, then proceeded to explore the temple grounds. We found a few small cave like rooms which seemed like they once housed meditating inhabitants. There are incredible dragon stone carvings guarding the shrine and the old style architecture of 18th century Nepal. The temple was surrounded by monkeys who eagerly await banana and rice offerings. They seemed gentler than the ones in the city, less aggressive, more peaceful.

The inner shrine was locked when we arrived, but we were fortunate to witness a family puja, or ceremony, and they opened the inner doors. The group arrived to make a puja to bring harmony back into their family. (One of the young women explained this to us in her perfect English). The women were all dressed in the most gorgeous red saris and worked to create giant clay bowls filled with wicks and dusted with tikka powder, coconut and popped corn or rice. They spent time clearing the temple and giving offerings. Then they gathered together in a circle, said some prayers and intentions and lit the bowls so that huge fires sprang up in their clay pots. Certain women carried the bowls around the temple three times before going up to the inner sanctum to give their offerings. They were very gracious in allowing me to photograph the entire puja and I felt very blessed to witness such an intimate ceremony. I could not help but wonder how might westerners benefit from doing something similar when a family falls out of harmony with each other: dressing in beautiful clothing, visiting a sacred space, giving offerings, carrying fire, a transformative force, around the space, ringing bells that echo through the forest...such beauty. I could not photograph the inner shrine, but Yoko and I went up to give a flower offering and glimpsed Vajrayogini inside: a shimmering goddess with all her arms and tools, standing astride two corpses, completely covered in red tikka powder and surrounded by mirrors, the potent symbol of illusion. She glowed in beauty, strength, power; sparkled in her dance, her laughter, her cosmic heart wide open and full of fierce compassion...

The puja carried on, the men and women giving offerings and the sound of bells ringing echoed through the forest as Yoko and I began our descent back to the village. On our return, we passed by another imminent sacrifice, this time at the bottom of the mountain in front of another shrine. This time the victims were two massive male pigs who howled and screamed in protest, tied up and waiting their fate. Yoko and I watched as the women again created the most beautiful plate of offerings, this one of fruit, rice, flowers, little doughy pyramids, incense and water. The men stood around the pigs looking tough as one guy sharpened the knife in preparation for the bloody sacrifice. I do not know what their intentions are for the sacrifice, for luck, family harmony, abundance? but they all seemed very at ease. We waited for a while to see the puja, but finally our intense hunger and thirst got the best of us, and we carried on back to the village for tea and biscuits before heading back to Boudha...maybe it was for the best... I imagine that they use those pigs well after the killing and have enough meat on them to feed families for a several weeks...still there is something simultaneously fascinating and disturbing about the ancient practice of sacrifice.

Vajrayogini reminds us to to shatter illusion, obliterating all concepts and enabling us to realize that all is interconnected. The blood sacrifice to her form inspires us to remember that all forms are empty, not as in devoid, but simply clear light; that life meets death meets rebirth meets new life again. She reminds us that we indeed hold the ability to transform emotions from a lower expression to sacred compassion; that anger can become fierce compassion, fear can become power, sexual attraction can become the intense desire to help benefit sentient beings. She helps us to purify and transmute our bodies, our speech and our mind as we dissolve further into the clear light of oneness...

nepal magic

2010-07-09T04:25:00.000-07:00

Local shamans, thirty-second generation astrologers, blessings from deceased Tibetan rinpoches are all part of the daily world here in Nepal. My dear friend Yogatara, who Leon and I met in Varkala almost ten years ago (!) and I spent hours over coffee and toast swapping mystical stories about our parallel lives on the Asian subcontinent. She, like me, has made many fascinating contacts, visited shamans and gurus of all shades and flavors, and also found herself completely devoted to one teacher in particular. Funnily, her path started out more Buddhist and ended up with Yoga, thus the name, while mine began with Yoga and ended up among the Tibetan Buddhists...

With Yogatara's connections and the fact that she speaks Nepali fluently now, I was able to meet and connect with two fascinating Nepali people. On the back of Yogatara's motorbike, we spent a day zipping around Kathmandu, visiting the famous Mohan Rai, Nepali shaman, as well as a Vedic astrologer, Yogatara's good friend, taking a break to buy potent products from the local puja shop.

The first stop, Mohan Rai, was up a long, dusty road where we got stuck behind a foul diesel belching truck. I wrapped my scarf three times around my head, but to no avail, as once we arrived at the shaman's I felt I might pass out, my lungs heaving from the slight altitude up from the valley and hideous fumes...I must say the pollution is intense in this town! We parked the motorbike, and wandered through a lovely garden into Mohan Rai's sit-out area, where he sat, chatting with a Portuguese student.

We sat with Mohan and took tea and, as Hawaiians say, we 'talked-story' for hours...it was amazing! Turns out Mohan Rain is well-known among shamanic circles and knows many of the people I have been researching, reading and studying with including Michael Harner and his students. He was included in a the book Shamanism and Tantra in the Himalayas and a review issue of that book in a copy of Shaman's Drum. He also founded and now teaches students from all over the world at his Shamanic Center in Kathmandu. You can check out his work at: http://www.himalayanshamans.com/index1.php?lang=en

I felt fortunate to sit with Mohan and hear his stories about encounters with snakes as a child, the practice of working with spirits, miraculous healings that he has performed over the years and the deep, ancient honoring of Mother Earth that is the crucial core of all shamanic practices. He has trained several Nepalis to follow in his footsteps, including his son, and are the ones who usually do the readings and the puja. By happenstance, none of them but Mohan were at his house the day we visited and we were fortunate to not only sit and talk with him for some time, but to also receive a reading and a blessing. I felt awed to not only realize what an amazing person, healer and practitioner he his, but also to receive his blessing.

He took us into his puja room, an entire bedroom sized room that is entirely devoted to his spiritual work. Inside was the largest, most wondrous, wild, intense altar I have ever seen...it takes up an entire wall of this room and is literally dripping with deities, dragons, devas and darkness...I love it! I've included a few pictures which speak louder than words. He also has a thangka (Tibetan style painting) of Vajrayogini, who is becoming my theme on this trip. (More about her in my Vajrayogini post). Inside the puja room Mohan felt my pulse on both wrists for a few minutes, then told me certain things with a warm and positive reassurance along with a blessing from him and the spirits. I will revisit him again for a follow up puja to be performed by one of his women shamans, a puja to give offerings to certain spirits for my benefit.

Afterwards, we spent another hour, over more Nepali milk tea, discussing shamanism, writing, magic, Nepal and teaching..it was quite a morning! Even though Yogatara and I were exhausted (partly from the pollution, I imagine), we still spent the afternoon traipsing to the puja shop where I got my fill of sandalwood, red tikka powder, myrrh and a yak's tail (use of the tail will be revealed, my fellow magic makers in Hawaii :-)

Finally, we spent a part of the afternoon visiting the Vedic astrologer...for those of you who know my views on astrology, I am sure you are surprised! This astrologer is a thirty-second generation chart reader (along with being a computer scientist) and a valued friend of both Yogatara and Dr. Sarita (his office is under her clinic in Patan, Kathmandu actually). I almost had a reading with him seven years ago, and decided to go through with it this time. So, I went with an open mind and I wasn't disappointed. I do feel that he read my chart kind of how a doctor might read my cell structure, with a science mind. Unlike the shaman, who was feeling my pulse and encouraging my being, it seemed that the astrologer was looking at a star print and giving me data.

The astrologer did mention that I am very strong in the writing department and would have much success. He looked completely unsurprised when we showed him my published Reiki book :) He also said I have a malific node (I love that word...) thus a streak of wrathfulness.. no... not me :-)...he mentioned the need to purify, practice my spiritual work and wear a diamond. I took all of it into consideration and although some certainly resonated with me, some of it was completely off, such as not trusting my mother's relatives. Interestingly, I am a Leo sun and a Libra moon in Vedic, (Virgo sun and Scorpio moon in Western). Yogatara and the astrologer explained that Vedic takes into account that the universe is expanding...it is also based on a science that has produced Ayurveda, Yoga, Tantra and other vast wisdom so perhaps there is something to this...better go out and get a diamond!!

He also threw Yoko's chart, which was even more fascinating. No details to reveal (that is up to her), but I will say...I always felt she was a special child...but then, don't all parents ? :-)

Overall, it was an incredible day and I just fell even more in love with Nepal. Spending time with Yogatara and glimpsing her world of shamans, astrologers, fluent Nepali, puja shops and family was a potent way to connect wore deeply with this fascinating culture.

Pullahari

2010-07-08T17:52:00.000-07:00

Yoko and I ventured up to Pullahari for a breath of fresh air out of the pollution, a serene look around the valley and a visit to His Holiness Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche's monastery. I know that last bit is a mouthful for those of you unfamiliar with Tibetan Buddhism so I'll explain a bit who that is. H.H. Jamgon Kongtrul was one of four primary 'regents' or head monks that were left behind in the wake of H.H. the 16th Karmapa's death. To back the story up even further, the Karmapa is the spiritual leader or head of the Karma Kagyu lineage of Tibetan Buddhism. The previous Karmapa died in 1981 and has since been followed by his current successor, the 17th Gyalwang Karmapa, Ogyen Trinley Dorje who now resides near Dharamsala, where H.H. the Dalai Lama lives. The long lineage of Karmapas (like Dalai Lamas) is one of rich history. Each one is credited with all kinds of talents, extraordinary meditation abilities and mind mastery for the past thousand years.

Even more interesting is the way they find each, successive Karmapa: he writes a letter, before he dies, indicating where he will be born next! It is somewhat cryptic, but through careful deduction, certain lamas (higher status monks) left behind are able to discern the whereabouts of each Karmapa. Thus, the last one, the 17th who is now 26 years old was found this way. There is an amazing movie about His Holiness's discovery called Living Buddha. The current Karmapa is also being pegged by the media and others to, perhaps, be the one to fill the role of the Dalai Lama after he dies. Although the Karmapa does not seem thrilled at the prospect (very big, political shoes to fill), but is definitely embracing his role as a modern bridge builder.

So, back to H.H. Jamgon Kontrul and Pullahari... When the previous Karmapa died, he left behind four high lamas to be the ones to find his next incarnation as well as remain as the lineage holders. H.H. Jamgon Kongtrul (the third one) was one of the regents, who then met an untimely death in 1992 at the age of 39. He died in a car crash in Tibet, on his way to look for the present Karmapa, strangely. His successor is now 15 years old and studying vigorously to fulfill the duties as the fourth Jamgon Kontrul. The previous one was cremated and certain parts of the body were preserved as relics and placed in a special spot at Pullahari Monastery, where Yoko and I visited. Check out: http://www.jamgonkongtrul.org/

When we arrived at Pullahari, we were told a Vajrayogini puja was in progress and we could visit the main shrine room as well as the stupa or chorten where H.H. Jamngon Kontrul the third is buried. The puja was pretty intense, pounding drums and pure vibrating horns. After sitting for a while, Yoko and I climbed up to the chorten and I was overwhelmed by the power emanating from the spot. I have visited one such chorten a few years ago (another previous lama incarnation) and felt similar energy radiating from the spot. Yoko and I were allowed to circle the chorten three times and the monk happily showed us several pictures of the previous Jamgon, Karmapas, and the letters of validation that certified the present, fourth incarnation of Jamgon Kontrul. I was amazed how much emotion overwhelmed me upon my visit and again had that recurring feeling I get when I am amongst Tibetan Buddhists...something intensely familiar, a feeling of home. Yoko and I left, a bit awed and humbled by a person that can emit blessings even after death. We took our time to visit the row of chortens and many prayer flags that surround the monastery, contemplating death and rebirth while the Vajrayogini puja continued to roar across the valley, monks chanting for the benefit of all sentient beings...

Pashupatinath

2010-07-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

Pashupatinath is one of the oldest sites for Hindu pilgrimage, the place where they cremate the deceased and put the ashes, returning the body to the rivers of life. Here, to die and be cremated is to break the cycles of death and rebirth, thus being released from samsaric existence completely. This place is dedicated to Lord Shiva, the destructive god in the Hindu pantheon, who got tired of living at Mount Kailash and ran away to rest in the Kathmandu Valley. He then manifested as the gentle and creative deity Pashupatinath, which means Lord of the Animals.

As we walked the mile from Boudha to Pashupati, we entered the back side, passing by the Guhyeshwari temple, a sacred Goddess site dedicated to Shiva's shakti or Kali, the fierce destructive counterpart to Shiva's wrathful side. The name Guhyeshwari means 'vagina goddess' because it is believed that Parvati's yoni rests here. Just as Shiva has a gentle side, so does Kali, and in this case it is Parvati. The story goes that once, when Shiva was insulted by his father-in-law, Parvati was so furious that she burst into flames and died. This act has inspired wives in India and Nepal to commit sati, where they burn themselves at their husband's funeral pyre. Shiva carried off Parvati's body, wandering aimlessly and her genitals, or yoni fell off in this place. Unfortunately, I could not visit inside the temple, as it is restricted to Hindus only and instead, purchased marigold offerings and gazed up at the high walls, amazed by this place where ancient legend weave so easily into contemporary life.

We passed by the temple and climbed over the hill past the Shiva shrine at the crest of the hill, overlooking the temples and Bagmati river. We wound our way down, encountering occasional monkeys and a large fence pasture for deer, Shiva's sacred animal. As the hill descend to the Bagmati river, there are several small stupas, housing various deities and yoni-lingam statues, the symbolic representation of Shiva and Shakti, the dance of the masculine and feminine.

Yoko, Leon and I climbed down to the river, to the very spot we put Rubybleu's ashes seven years ago...it is hard to imagine, yet at the same time, it feels immense healing has come full circle. To sit with Yoko, now five and a half and watch the same river float by, pondering the reality of impermanence, of birth and life and death was quietly moving...but not entrenched with sorrow as it was in 2003. We made a small puja or ritual of flower offerings and quiet words and adorned Yoko with a marigold mala before venturing on, across the river, waving at the holy men, enjoying the wild gypsy dance of a woman sadhu and into the city beyond.

boudhanath stupa

2010-07-04T20:15:00.000-07:00

Amazingly we have already spent a week here in the Tibetan community of Boudhanath which sits on the eastern outskirts of Kathmandu. The center plaza is dominated by a massive stupa painted with the famous Buddha eyes peering out across the vastness of the universe. According to one believer, these eyes see all things, all our foibles, all the karma of the world and quietly witnesses these truths. No one seems to really know how old the Boudha site is, but the first stupa or chorten (Tibetan) was built sometime 600 C.E. and later rebuilt after the Moghul invasion in the 14th century. Even older than the stupa itself is a spring that bubbles from the innards and perhaps it was an ancient site for Goddess worshipers long ago. Some claim there is a bone of the Buddha, or a relic buried within the stupa...but I guess we'll never know for sure. From above, the stupa is a giant mandala, a diagram of Tibetan cosmology and each direction hosts a Buddha, as well as representing the five elements: air, water, earth, fire and ether.

There is an intensity, a kind of magic and power that overwhelms you when you step into the gate, look up at the massive white dome and eyes painted on gold and watch devout practitioners circling the stupa. In the early mornings, water offerings are made and dozens of intense practitioners perform hundreds of prostrations. Prostrations, along with mantra recitation and mandala offerings compose the preliminary practice of becoming a more advanced Tibetan Buddhist practitioner. One is supposed to do at least 100,000 of each (or more; many students must complete 600,000 or so!). Working on your 100,000 prostrations, 100,000 mantras, 100,000 mandala offerings creates positive merit and massively benefits all the sentient beings. A profound thought, at the very least...imagine dedicating so much of your time to boost your karma for future lives AND help everyone on earth. The feeling around this practice is that it generates a positive vibration that then emanates across the world and interweaves between the various realms of existence. It also builds discipline, motivation and a strong effort which is needed for the higher and more advanced practices. Leon has done over 500,000 prostrations in his lifetime and he's pretty relaxed...so you can imagine the psychological benefits as well :)

Every evening the community comes out in full force to perform cora, the circle that one makes around a stupa or chorten. It is common to make at least three cora each time you practice, all the while reciting a mantra and counting them on your mala. The aim of this practice, as with all Buddhist practices at their core, is to open one's heart to inner peace and enlightenment and benefit all sentient beings. This is a summary in a tiny nutshell, but the core beliefs of Buddhism stem from finding peace and happiness and radiating that outward so all beings may also find peace and happiness. Although there is some gossip, an overwhelming amount of trades, dealing and merchant selling, and false monks begging for money happening around the stupa...still the sacred energy is potent. In fact, it is a kind of Buddhistic nature to simply accept the mundane right along with the sacred. In Asia in general, there seems to be far less division between good versus evil and kind of openness to the entire spectrum of the world. Thus, they also have set up a giant screen for the World Cup alongside the stupa :-)

Boudhanath was an original trading stop from Lhasa and this is still the case, overflowing with Tibetan dharma treasures everywhere. I have been swept up in both the fervor of chanting Om Mani Padme Hung around the stupa every evening, as well as purchasing sacred bone malas, water ceremony bowls and oil lamps. The community is home to thousands of Tibetan exiles or refugees from neighboring Tibet as well as descendants of those who left Tibet in the last decades since Chinese occupation. The place is also home to many local Nepalis who also practice Buddhism, Hinduism and/or a kind of mixture that I have yet to understand completely. This is also home to dozens of monasteries, from all of the Tibetan Buddhist lineages and houses thousands of monks and nuns as well as hosting many practicing Western Tibetan Buddhists and dharma and language students. Each day I hear Nepali, Tibetan, English and Hindi on television. I meet southern Nepalis who have traveled to Hungary (!), Tibetans who have teachers living in America, Westerners who have lived here and studied dharma for a decade...it is certainly an international community!

the world cup

2010-06-29T23:45:00.000-07:00

Traveling through Asia it is impossible to remain oblivious to the World Cup. Every evening, on every corner, in tiny market stalls, in giant shopping malls across Thailand, Laos and Kathmandu, there are televisions set up to watch the world wide sport of football, or as Americans call it, soccer. I have really enjoyed becoming a participant in this global activity as I'm sure I would've been almost unaware back in Puna where no has tvs and the few who do are most likely uninterested in the World Cup.

Football is something people play in just about every corner of the world. All you need is a ball and a field and you've got a game; that's the real beauty of it. And although Thailand, Laos and Nepal are all far cries from making it to the final rounds of a World Cup, they are certainly just as passionate! The World Cup has just as many nations included as the Summer Olympics and is no doubt a global phenomena. This year, being held in South Africa, Shakira performed an African inspired song with African drum and dancers featured in the video. Nice to see some real wild drumming in a pop song!

Everyone here in Bhoudanath, Nepal seems to be rooting for Brazil but my cousin is in Paraguay, and since they just beat Japan, I think I'll root for them. In Bangkok, my sister and I went to the opening game of South Africa against Mexico and were surrounded by South African expats in an Irish pub in the clubbing district of Silam. International community to say the least! Since then, I've seen everyone glued to their screens every night in utter rapture, probably making bets, screaming at bad calls, cheering when their team scores. I remember my own grandfather, who came from Hungary, with the same passion watching soccer. I never really understood until now why it was so important to him...but its finally dawning on me!

Bhouda...

2010-06-29T03:12:00.000-07:00

We have arrived in Nepal, and make our way to the Tibetan section of Kathmandu, an area called Bhoudanath, home to the famous Bhoudanath Stupa. The first thing that hits me, before I even see the gate into the stupa, is the smell. It is so unbelievably familiar that my cells begin to swim into the memory of the place seven years ago... The Bhouda Stupa is the place where Leon and I were married, where we swam through the muck of recovering from Rubybleu Puja, where we put her ashes into Pashupatinath, where we first met Dr. Sarita... it is a place brimming with the memory of ourselves, together in that ethereal spirit love form that came and went so quickly, Ruby teaching us the power of illusion, non-attachment, impermanence.

The wave of familiarity washes over me, in that first whiff of cedar smoke, rain and wet earth, Yak dung incense followed by the incredible sound of people's feet shuffling around and around this ancient Stupa and the brass horns blaring like flares as golden dusk settles her warm Nepali sky arms across the beauty of this place. Once we enter, I sigh seeing the hundreds of colorful prayer flags fluttering in the sky, the boy lighting small oil lamps, the stores spilling over with dharma treasures glowing, my heart is suddenly singing and alive and I feel like I've never left, yet, simultaneously the healing is complete. It is, no doubt a full circle moment. And holding my hand in wonder, in awe, in curiosity, is the delight of our lives, little Yoko who is completely enchanted by the monks and nuns, spinning prayer wheels, the delicate beauty of the Thangka paintings, the sounds of Om Mani Padme Hung drifting across the evening air... indeed we have come Home, in a hearted sense.

Vang Vienne

2010-06-26T04:33:00.000-07:00

After leaving Luang Prabang we boarded a VIP bus (meaning A/C I suppose) and made our way over curvy winding roads and up and down mountains. The ride would have been fantastic: gorgeous forests, beautiful limestone mountains, soaring cliffs and a cloudless day...except it made both Leon and Yoko so sick, that I was on the edge of my seat handing off plastic bags as necessary. Ah, the adventure!

We arrived in Vang Vienne, Leon a bit pale but thrilled to be off the bus. The town is nothing compared to Luang Prabang, which was really gorgeous French architecture and fancy coffee shops all made of teak...no we were back in the two-thirds world of dusty roads, shacks, dog gangs and ratty children. In fact, at first, I have to say I was a bit disgusted by the seediness and the swarms of twenty year old backpackers who sit around in cafes watching old episodes of Friends and getting drunk out of their heads at night. The main activity is tubing where you rent a giant old inner tube for a few dollars a day and float down the river being accosted by alcohol vendors. We decided to give that activity a miss and instead explored other spots.

Once you get away from the main strip of overpriced bars, the town was actually quite nice. The surrounding nature is stunning and the villagers relaxed and easy. I realized not one single child asked me for any money or a school pen, which is a constant in India. Our room was an air conditioned cottage for $8 USD a night and we slept like babies in it. Yoko and I rode around on a rented bike, enjoying the surrounding rice fields, water buffalo and smiling women who wear the most beautiful woven skirts.

We also enjoyed swimming in a local spot where the gorgeous turquoise water gushes out of a limestone mountain. You could swim all the way into the back of the cave, then float dreamily back out into the sunlight. We visited a huge limestone cave and took lots of pictures...it ended up being quite a divine experience. In fact all of my Laos experiences I could sum up this way: surprisingly wondrous...it was much more beautiful than I expected ... overall well worth the setbacks!

Luang Prabang

2010-06-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

Laos was certainly an adventure! We flew from Chiang Mai in northern Thailand to Luang Prabang. As we flew in, we sighed in adoration over the endless mountains of pristine, green forests. There seemed to be almost no development (very different than our flight into Kathmandu and its mountains) and only when we descended down into Luang Prabang did we glimpse the houses and temples of a small town. The golden temple on the nearby mountaintop reminded us that, although Laos is communist country, the people are still able to practice Buddhism now. Luang Prabang was the original capital of Laos until the communist take over in 1975 and UNESCO world heritage site for the myriad of ancient temples. Every morning hundreds of monks drift down the streets in brilliant saffron robes, collecting alms to bring back to their monasteries. This was a beautiful site, which I missed unfortunately due to lack of sleep and the immense heat pressing me down, squashed into the bed. Luckily, Leon and Yoko filmed it. I'll post it on YouTube if I ever get to a land of super fast connections.

So, the heat was pretty intense in Luang Prubang...this is where my blogging capabilities went out the window... still, the heat and backpacking, the effort of lugging packs around from place to place, was well worth the beauty of Laos nature. We visited a fantastic waterfall, a really amazing place. We were all stunned by how it poured down layer after layer after layer of limestone pools...maybe a mile or more of falls tumbling over each other with dozens of gorgeous aqua pools to swim in, swing on ropes or simply float. Our feet and elbows were sharply poked by the fish swimming in the falls, and we laughed because this new fish therapy is all the rage in Bangkok...we saved money by playing in Laos instead and got all our scabs eaten off :-)

Yoko and I also went for an elephant ride, that was actually delightful. I was dreading it a bit after my experience in India, which wasn't altogether bad, but I certainly wouldn't call it delightful. I noticed, in India, that when they advertise some 'Amazing Waterfall' or 'Stupendous Elephant Ride' it tends to not even come close to one's expectations; Laos, on the other hand, was quite the opposite (that or I spent too long in India :-) Both the waterfall and elephant ride were above and beyond my expectations: although 'touristy,' the nature is so overwhelming in Laos, so undeveloped and full of richness in the air, the color, the sound of the insects, that one cannot help sighing in deep reverence for our planet. The elephant ride was a long two hour jaunt through the forests and rivers, with the chance to really witness Laos villagers...unlike India which was a few strides over a dusty field that was not the cleanest of places. The mahout who sat astride our elephant was so natural, so loving to her, it was really charming. He talked and sang to her, picked her special treats from the trees and bushes, caressed her ears...again, a bit different from India. The people are gentler, it seems in Laos, or quieter. Whether that is Southeast Asian, a long Buddhist history, or the more recent intense closure of Communist government, I would have to be there a bit longer to find out. A mixture of all, I suppose.

One of the nicest things about Luang Prabang was the beautiful influence of French culture. Feel what you may about colonial takeover, the French left behind some lovely architecture, a taste for fine coffee, and you can find baguettes on every corner. We enjoyed this almost as much as the nature, as well as meeting friends from around the world, delighting in the ancient Buddhist temples galore and watching the Mekong drift endless ever onward...

Laos...

2010-06-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

My first impressions of Laos: endless miles of pristine forest over vast green mountain ranges, small, soft smiling people, and torpid jungle heat along the syrupy thick brown Mekong. This river, whose name echoes in my Hollywood American history mind with altogether violent scenes actually drifts languid through the hours, past tiny villages, fishermen idling along with handmade nets and it is as if Time has caught in my throat, forgot to exhale and am winding further into dream land. And! there is the most amazing coffee shops, all made of teak serving baguettes with mustard...thanks to the French imposing their tastes here it is quite the mix of two-thirds world, ancient temples, wild wonderful nature and french cuisine... We're really not in Kansas anymore Toto.

Oh. ! And they even have wi-fi...

Chiang Mai

2010-06-17T16:00:00.000-07:00

The northern city of Chiang Mai was a lovely place to spend three days, albeit a bit hotter than I imagined! I followed Leon and Yoko a few days afterward (they had left me to finish up the endless rewrite in Bangkok). Traveling on the relaxed AirCon sleeper train was easy and I awoke to green mountains and pools of lotuses as we drifted into Chiang Mai. The next few days we spent wandering the Old City streets, gawking at a myriad of different temples, getting a Thai style facial (includes massage and herbal face pack for an hour, all for only $6.50 USD), and riding in tuk tuks, Yoko's new favorite mode of transportation.

The highlight was Wat U Mong, a Forest Temple that was on the outer edges of the city. We arrived and noticed the trees were adorned with the saffron monk's robes as well as messages on being a pure, noble and mindful person. Inside the grounds, after passing through peculiar female guardians, we found a spirit Buddhistic graveyard, pictures of Leon's first teacher, Bodhi trees, meditation caves, and an ancient stupa. It was very peaceful, the monks giving offerings, doing walking meditation and chanting.

Yoko started taking photographs and we've been enjoying her perspective, much closer to the earth. She's taken some lovely portraits of Leon and I, really catching us in ways we don't always see ... and looks like a natural, snapping away and carefully observing this amazing world.

Still... it was hot and I was still working on my manuscript...this is really a case of 'it ain't over till its over.' After A/C in Bangkok, I was re-introduced to that incredible feeling of melting and dissolving in the torpid heat of southeast Asia. After a bit of a freak out, I finally went over my manuscript once again, with great gusto and hope the refining has worked...its hard to remember as my brain was melting in the mid-morning heat, even after too many coffees.

Yet, the Chiang Mai dawn was gorgeous and I had a visionary dream that now seems to be the medicine dream for Laos. Often times when I am pushed out of my comfort zone I have the most powerful dreams and visions. This is the real medicine of traveling: pushing and growing, learning and loving...

As Leon says: I ride tandem with the random...things don't go the way I planned them...

dreams...

2010-06-17T01:59:00.000-07:00

I have been having fantastic dreams that seem to weave strands of Puna into fairytale escapades across oceans, through temples, meeting spirits. Oh wait! Is that my life...? The days seem hotter and more dreamy in Chang Mai, Thailand, probably because we don't have AC here and I'm finally (draggingly) finished with my manuscript...or am I? Not sure, as this heavy heat, voluptuous rain pregnant clouds and swollen feet from too much pounding pavement shopping have got me laying about the guesthouse ruminating over the past, dreaming the future and drinking endless cafe yen (ice coffee). Plans, ideas, meanings seem to dissolve the longer one is away from home, open to a new way of thought or just simply no thinking at all.

The sunrise was incredible this morning: turquoise, gold, silver, orange spreading out across this city of a hundred unique temples, the golden spires glowing in new day. I contemplate the program I heard the night before on prairie dogs. Did you know that each morning and evening prairie dogs stand to face the rising (or setting) sun, press their tiny paws together and close their eyes for a good fifteen to twenty minutes? I am in awe over this reality. Prairie dogs are more in tune with the sacred than we are: they practice sun salutations! Well, perhaps I'm not surprised but I've taken up prairie dogging in the mornings, bowing my head to the sun. Buddhas all over the place here are a nice reminder that someone, once copied the nature; how have we just forgotten so much? I think of all the people, all over Asia, in India especially, who are also bowing their heads to the sunrise, quietly thanking the morning, simply being with the turning of night into day. This is so simple and so beautiful.

When I get more organized and my manuscript is really done (I swear the thing is endless, just like the Goddess herself...) I will post some pics of all the amazing temples around here. Sawadee Kaaaaaaaaaaaa.... oh, and one more cafe yen, please?

local style continued

2010-06-13T03:44:00.000-07:00

I really want to write on something else about Bangkok...something about the myriad of designs that seem to be inspired by lotuses, the practice of Theravada Buddhism, floating markets, or the nightlife that is reminiscent of sultry seediness mixed with international cool that leaves me wondering if any of us really know who we are. Ah, but enough with the poetics ... seriously, I can't write on any new topics because I'm still obsessed with the previous one: the street and local food.

Obsessed.

Even though I have visited Bangkok at least ten times, and have eaten a hundred and one pad thais, drank so many coconuts and eaten piles of freshly cut watermelon...I am so deeply struck by the immediacy of some of the most delicate, fresh, unique, savory food in the world. It's not only that its incredibly good or fresh, its also so local. By four in the afternoon, every single corner explodes into foodie heaven and each time I walk down a different street I see something new: a guy with tiny tiny crepes carefully wrapped around bits of meat or bananas; a woman selling twelve assorted fish sauces mixed with different kinds of beans and spicy greens on the side including kale and bock choy; a small outdoor restaurant set up with tables where the guy serves the best Chinese noodles I have ever tasted along with a sampling of chicken and various seafood and a tiny hard boiled egg (not sure what from). The fruit seller who meticulously cuts up my papaya with measured strokes, then carefully places the pieces in a bag with a long toothpick so I can eat it walking down the street...sweet service for sure... As you make your way down the street, sampling here and there you are supporting a whole host of individual sellers and their families; in fact it seems half of Thailand cooks for the country.

I am remembering my days in India, and certainly there is street food there, but its not quite the same as here. These unique little places abound here and I am ever more curious about where they get the piles of fresh cilantro, basil and chilies; the fish that they wrap in little leaves and smoke in the most delicate sauce ever...I'll stop myself from getting carried away again. My sister says the Thais at her work are obsessed with food as well, always comparing where to get different kinds of noodles, the tastiest curries, the freshest soy milk. Once she brought in some chocolate covered bananas from the other side of town and her work place went wild over them. Somehow they had a unique flavor and they all delighted in something new. Each vendor adds his or her own specific style to the curry, the flavors, the choices and the diversity makes you want to explore every single corner.

What is so beautiful about this experience (besides being so outrageously cheap) is that the entire lifestyle revolves around eating, either alone or with others, but communing with the foods of the earth all day long. Everything is so fresh and cooked right before your eyes so you are completely connected with the process and it feels wonderful; especially in comparison to the usual American restaurant style of frozen foods that are most likely GMO and barely contain a trace of the earth by the time they get to your sterile plate. I'm not trying to be bitter here...but, there's no doubt I'll miss this epic food experience when I'm back on the other side of the planet...

local style

2010-06-10T04:08:00.000-07:00

Local vendors abound here in Bangkok and it is certainly free market enterprise at work. The early mornings of the city are dotted with mounds of fresh, local fruits and vegetables, coffee and juice carts, temple offerings and breakfast foods such as noodles, spicy greens, crepes and barbecued meat. This morning I had freshly cooked piping hot soy milk with optional additions such as kidney beans, barley, and some other odd looking things like little seeds and jellies from one smiling lady; my new favorite dish of noodles and duck from the small restaurant next door; and a giant cold coffee from the guy at his coffee cart. Many of these ingredients are locally grown and brought in from Bangkok's surrounding farms.

Most of the vending carts are on wheels and you can see them rolling along streets throughout, rattling over concrete, bearing their wares at their accustomed spots. Lunch is another high time for these sellers especially cafe yen (ice coffee), cold fruit and water along with the pad thai (stir fried noodles and vegetables). By evening masses of vendors open up and it seems almost every Soi (street) off Sukhumvit (the main drag where we are staying) is brimming with the most amazing foods: whole fishes carefully grilled with fresh cilantro, onion and chilies; every possible kind of meat on sticks; round plump sausages of all sizes; fruits and juices, cold coconuts and smoothies; spicy asian greens poured over steaming rice...really it is so good you wonder why on earth do we not have this everywhere...

Along with all the food vendors, a myriad of clothing, jewelry, bag, and trinket sellers mushroom out of nowhere as soon as the sun sets. One vendor told my sister she buys all of her wares wholesale at the massive Platinum mall (where you have to buy at least three items at a time), then resells her stuff along the streets for a profit. Seriously free market enterprise. To quote from a website on Bangkok's best street food, "Thailand enjoys total freedom in the food economy unlike anything offered in the United States, where strict zoning, taxation and other bureaucratic & enforcement hurdles leave little in the way of flexibility beyond the formal restaurant with separate kitchen behind closed doors." If you are keen and can invest in either a rolling cart or a few racks, you can make a living. No licenses, no staid regulations, no insurance required. This is true local style, a real free market enterprise that includes people of all economic levels and what America used to be like before massive corporate take over.

This kind of localized marketing is one of my most beloved aspects of Asia. It is astonishing to think that I had never been to an outdoor market where people sold local goods until I was eighteen and went to a Grateful Dead show! Everything I had ever bought came out of a large corporate supermarket or department store...I am a true child of suburban sterile subculture. Although it seems things are changing here...moving ever more toward the idealized Western corporate globalization, I still can't imagine Thais ever giving up their freshly cooked noodles, cold coffees and coconuts from right outside their apartment door.

Check out http://www.thaifoodandtravel.com/features/streetf.html for a great article by a local on her own love for Thai street food.

Quote from: http://importfood.com/saochingcha_guide.html

shadow side

2010-06-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

As with all things, there is a certain shadow side to Bangkok, to what my friend refers to as the two-thirds world. The two-thirds world is the reality that two-thirds of the world still lives on a dollar a day, is not white, nor Christian, nor Western...sometimes even I, global traveler and ex-expat forget that! Back in Bangkok, I am not only immersed in the two-thirds reality with both the wonders and delights but also the unpleasantness and unsavory aspects of poverty, suffering and lack of education. I've always relished the reality of the world smacking up against my face, people, animals, lives birthing and living and dying out in plain view, it saturates my mind with good stories and forces me to remember the stark harshness of survival that most people face every day.

Yesterday, I saw Yoko begin to connect the dots of life's reality for the first time. I have been telling her for years about not wasting, and wanting less when she whines and threatens to throw a tantrum. Our family phrase is, 'More gratitude, less attitude.' Yesterday, we took a long walk down Sukhumvit, one of the major roads in downtown where my sister lives and we saw a small boy begging for food and money. We have seen the odd beggar around, mostly women with their babies clinging to them and we give them drinking yogurts or loose change when we have it. But this was different, because Yoko remembered how I had told her there are children in the world with no parents. Of course we do not know the story of this small child, looking up at us with eyes of hunger and loss yet an etheral beauty all rolled into one, and it nearly broke Yoko's heart. As we walked along she grew solemn, until we stopped to rest in a cool coffee shop from the intense heat and she began to sob, saying she couldn't stop thinking about the boy...that he had no parents. This really saddened her and I held her...what to say? The only explanation that ever makes sense in these moments...these moments of watching rich people sail buy in designer clothes and hideously expensive cars, while others have no food, is simply karma. I don't think I even fully understand what karma really is, the idea of cause and effect, but the teaching is set in the context of countless lives...thus at one time we have all been the rich person, the beggar, the baby, the mother...it sort of seems to make sense. But it is something to contemplate over a life time and Yoko's heart wished for something simpler: the desire for the child with nothing to run and play and not be so hungry. We talked about doing things for others, wanting less, needing less...something that each of us can work with every day. It is difficult! But there's nothing like a good dose of the two-thirds world to awaken a generous heart...

cycles

2010-06-07T15:23:00.000-07:00

Life moves around in cycles, time spiraling in on itself and nothing is a straight line when it comes to memory. I feel as if I am a little nesting Russian doll, one time inside another inside another. Ten years ago I first visited Bangkok with my new lover then, Leon...a decade ago. In some ways this seems impossible...the first sights of Asia: tuk tuks, lotuses, golden temples, Buddhas, monks in saffron robes, the endless markets are still as fresh in my mind like yesterday...I suppose this is why we feel time flies...because the brilliant memories grown and shine over the years.

Meeting up with Carmen, my sister who has been living in Bangkok for an four and a half years, was another series of cyclical connections. We ate at a restaurant that we had all been to four years ago...Yoko was one and a half! The restaurant is updated now, modern flooring and fancier dishware and the food was outrageously good: fluffy fried catfish, green curry soup and spicy sweet green papaya salad but we are as they say in India: 'same, same, but different.' Her work is around the corner from her older apartment; we booked our travel tickets on the road of her more recent place that she has since moved out of and it all collided in my mind as one giant Bangkok heart space...now, she can read Thai (somewhat), speaks it like a real Thai girl and floats around the heat looking effortless in jeans, knowing AC will pop up soon... She ponders leaving this incredible city, perhaps trying something new...

In the meantime, I rest from the heat and concrete for a few hours and discover the last blog I wrote about Bangkok...at that time, we had just left India, over two years ago now. We were on our way to the unknown, the life abroad was beginning to dissolve and the world was both utterly fresh and tainted by the swirl of ancient cultures in my modern Katalin world... Check it out at Rubybleu: Vespers

In the midst of these cycles that unwind and rewind again, I remember the teachings that we are millions of lives, coming and going. There is no end to this dance of consciousness and creative unfolding only a kind of changing form. In Asia, that feels apparent, the cycles of Karma rise up to meet you and revisit until you have grown a bit more, shed another leaf and moved more into alignment with the brilliance of enlightenment...

lotus

2010-06-07T15:06:00.000-07:00

spirited

2010-06-07T00:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Carmen, Yoko and I visited Wat Phra Kaeo temple, the most famous Buddhist temple of Bangkok in the Royal Palace complex. The entrance fee is 350 Baht (!) and it houses the wondrous 'Emerald Buddha' which is carved out of one single giant piece of jadite or green jasper. Surrounded by towers of intricately designed carvings, mosaics, and golden spires, this small Buddha is a revered spot for the worshipful Thai Buddhist. King Rama I of the ancient Siam empire brought the Emerald Buddha from Vientiane, Laos when he captured the city in 1778. He then built the temple and enshrined the Emerald Buddha there as a symbol of Siam's regained nationhood.

As we wandered amidst the spires of various temples in the complex, adorned with meticulous paintings of the Buddha, the gods and the wars of days gone by I was amazed by the simultaneous delicacy of the design that is also intricate and complex. This reminds me of the Buddha's teachings: so precise, yet so full of depth. For example, the idea of non-attachment. A seemingly simple notion that becomes quite complicated when one works to untangle the process of desire and emotional wishing that continuously rises up within.

We gave offerings: placed a lotus flower on the pile, lit several sticks of incense and a small golden candle and pressed a gold leaf to one of the smaller Buddhas. The best offering was before entering the emerald Buddha shrine room, where we dipped large lotus buds into a giant bowl of water and patted the tops of our heads, letting the cool water drip down our faces. In the torpid heat of heavy Bangkok mid morning, this was deliciously refreshing, the real blessing indeed. Inside the shrine room, Yoko sat entranced by the array of paintings, endless Buddhas, carvings, golden raiment all around us...and smiled excitedly when she saw the one monk there sitting in lotus posture, meditating. She is entranced by the monks, sailing around the city, barefoot in their brilliant robes.

The day before we visited another temple where a ceremony was taking place. In this temple, they were holding a fundraiser and hundreds of people donated money along with lotuses to support the temples and their monks. This is an integral part of Thai culture and many men spend a month or two at some point in their lives learning meditation in the monastery. This is part of their life path. Of course, there is sometimes corruption and greed in the monastic structure and an alarming amount of gold that adorns the Buddhas all over the city, especially in light of a teacher whose message was one of simplicity. Still, to glimpse something each day that is a reminder of wisdom teachings fills my heart with joy. At this temple, we paid 20 Baht to write on a golden ticket, our names and wishes which I did and placed in a golden bowl. The simple act of giving offerings is one of the more potent ways in which the heart opens and I am grateful to feel the love of my dear family...to travel this wondrous earth...

breakfast in bangkok

2010-06-05T11:55:00.000-07:00

Bangkok is definitely a city that rarely sleeps, which is nice when jet lagged and up at random odd hours. You can go out any time of night or day and find food vendors along the streets cooking up pad thai (fried noodles with cabbage, vegetables, egg, chicken if you like, tofu) in a giant wok. Sometimes you get your choice of noodle size which ranges from teensy-weensy to big flat noodles. But if you're not in the mood for noodles there are always the fruit sellers which will cut, slice and salt papaya, watermelon, pineapple, melon for 20 baht or less ($.75). Grilled chicken, pork and beef on a stick are another option; those savory little suckers will fast turn the 'mostly vegetarian' into a ravenous carnivore. (I speak only for myself of course).

The smoke of the Thai barbecue rises up alongside the flower sellers who string jasmine and marigolds on circular strings, offerings for the Buddhist temples. Huge lotus buds rest in buckets of water, the tips of their leaves pulled back to form intricate designs, a sense of unfolding. The lotus is a symbol of the Buddha's blessing because it grows in murky, muddy waters and must slowly rise up out of the darkness to reach the light. This is akin to enlightenment, this slow progression from one life to the next until we too become completely aware and full of light.

Of course, there is something ironic about being in Bangkok, simultaneously surrounded by Buddhists and voracious meat eaters, sexy Thai girls and beers at 7 in the morning. Yet, that is the beauty of Asia; the paradox of life rubbed right in your face reminding us that we are simply treading the paths of karma, dharma and reality... Somehow, Buddhism seems less entrenched in the good versus evil path and there is a level of openness, especially in Thailand that allows things to coexist in a kind of overflowing wonderment. Either way, I sure do love my meat on a stick and my buddhas...

morning snaps

2010-06-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

Thai monks out receiving offerings from the community. Yoko Mojave gave them her breakfast fruit and they put them in a big brass bowl.

Close up of the Spirit Houses that reside in front of every business, home, office building.

Lotus offerings for the temples.

asia arrival: bangkok electric

2010-06-04T18:58:00.000-07:00

Bangkok arrival was a mostly smooth ride. Besides the delay in Hilo, causing us to race through a stream of trendy Japanese people, cutting lines and leaping barriers to make our flight out of Honolulu, all else was easeful on Japan Airlines. We flew eight hours to Nagoya, got a brief glimpse of Mount Fuji then experienced quite a bumpy landing which had me nauseous for an hour. Leon bought me a four dollar ginger ale (and you thought Hawai’i was expensive !) then we were cordially escorted onto our final flight, amidst much bowing and cooing over Yoko’s outrageously blonde hair. I was reminded of Asian girl love that streams out of them when they come in contact with the cuteness that is Yoko Mojave and their wonder over such beautiful glowing yellow hair. When Yoko was two months old we flew to the Maldives to get her an Indian visa (a one hour flight from Trivandrum in South India where we were living at the time) and the girls there went crazy over seeing a tiny white baby; their shrieks could be heard up and down the turquoise lanes. Similarly, the Sikhs on holiday in Dharamsala also went wild over Yoko’s hair, yearning to touch her as if she were a mini golden goddess and touching her would bless them in years to come…

We arrived at 10:30 on a Friday night, welcomed into the throbbing, intense electrified brilliance that is Bangkok at night. My sister now lives in Thong Lor, a fancier district, she jokes is the ‘Beverly Hills’ of Bangkok where Thais and expats alike go out to enjoy excellent food, dance clubs and some of the hippest bars around. It reminds me more of New York, all jumbly and messy but so warm and sultry, the divine tropical air softening my skin. Carmen lives in a small, hotel-like room or studio at the back of Thong Lor, just underneath the sky train. She has rented us a room one floor down and it is clean with a firm bed, hot shower and fridge for $18 a night; expensive for Bangkok, but we’re paying for location. We tried to sleep for a few hours, but our bodies are wired to Hawaii still and Leon springs up at 3 AM to make coffee. He ventures out into the streets to buy milk and sugar and returns smiling. “I love Bangkok,” he muses. “The smell of city fumes rising up to meet the sweet smell of fruit and savory outdoor cooking meat…and young Thai girls and boys dining out at 4 in the morning…so wonderful…” I can see his heart in my mind’s eye, sparkling and alive in his real homeland, that is Asia, the place he has spent more than half his life. He is thrilled to share this place with Yoko who is so cognizant and aware now and we are amazed that it was ten years ago when we first traipsed around this city together. Now, I’ve also been here countless times, my sister speaks a lot of Thai, having lived here over four years and our daughter is accustomed to bowing, Buddhists and pad thai… more of that in due time.

But for now… Sawadee Ka….

a decade of love

2010-06-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

Today, Leon and I have been together ten years! It is remarkable to think that a whole decade has passed living, breathing, loving and learning with each other. When I tell people, they look at me, amazed, then comment, "You were sooooo young..." True. And Leon was not at all! Yet we met in such clear places of awareness about who we were and are...what we want to be doing in the Life.. For the most part, the relationship has been effortless, easeful, joyous and a treasure. I have learned more, done more, written more because of Leon; in essence I have become a better person. Of course there are times when we rub up against each other and sparks fly (usually they are flying off of me) but we seem to be able to continuously dissolve frustrations and work to be more loving, more patient, more conscious.

We both feel lucky, that we found someone we could be with that we have immense fun together, love to travel, play and are also dedicated to expanding our minds through experience and information. We share more together each day than I share with most people in a month or a year, even. Leon and I love living tribe style, friends coming and going, supporting each other and staying connected to family. Running a guest house for five years was a nice way to be working with one another. We adore our sweet daughter who seems to be a combination of our better parts.

Leon has always understood and worked with my needs as a writer. When we first met, I was 23 and completely dedicated to writing. He was 47 and probably amused and slightly curious about me...until we started hanging out nonstop...it all just flowed from there. Still, I told him, that writing would always come first.. a BIG first, then him and whatever else. He seemed to understand that with such depth that it has actually prodded and inspired me to write more! Leon has always made sure there is space for my writing, creating a container for my creative spirit; he has thoughtfully worked out plots with me; come up with character names; read and reread all sorts of things in various stages. Of course now, who is to say what comes first or last? It is all a kind of interdependent reality with love, writing, creative works and family in a big stew...

So, its been as sweet ride thus far and I look forward to visiting the city of our burgeoning love: Bangkok and the place we were married: Kathmandu, Nepal.. it looks to be a summer of reconnect!

departing the punaverse

2010-05-31T11:44:00.000-07:00

I've been bitten by the travel bug once again and am excitedly packing up our house in preparation for our imminent three month journey to Thailand, Laos and Nepal. This will be our first trip to Asia where we are not returning home, but visiting, playing and delighting in the wonders of the East, knowing all the while that will come back to Hawai'i. This makes the trip altogether different and I have many plans to engage with the beauty, wildness, dharma, suffering, passions that are Asia...to do all the things I never made time for before (even in seven years of living in India, visiting Thailand countless times, spending two months in Nepal in 2003...) Like, taking a Thai cooking class, photographing the people and sites with more attention, visiting places new to me: Chiang Mai in Thailand, Laos, and the emerging rock Tara in Pharping and shamans of Pokhara in Nepal. Yet, as those of us Asia travelers know, its best to leave some wide open room in our days to allow the magic, the unknown, the beauty of traveling to arise...and see or do things we couldn't have thought of. That is how traveling, and especially the intensely magic spots of the world work...

But before we depart this unique and magical Big Island of Hawai'i, I offer my heartfelt gratitude to all the blessings from the 'aina (land) of this place: flowing lava, the ocean waters, the neverending jungly growth, the people who swirl and dance, create and destroy reflecting Pele's passions...

I've been meaning to make a list to remind me of the specific culture that resides in the wondrous, eclectic nutness that is Puna, and now is the perfect opportunity...'you know you've been in Puna a while when...'

~seeing rainbows, swimming with dolphins and watching lava flow become 'normal activities'
~you primarily drink out of mason jars (even wine) and know that every gathering you go to requires bringing food to share...the eternal 'Puna potluck'
~singing, chanting, circling and dancing open and close most events
~Kona side seems awfully far away...even thought its only a couple hours!
~smell whiffs of green medicine on a regular basis, check out land where people brew vast vats of ayahuasca and many people communicate as if they are already on the magical mystery tour...
~the five year olds have a complete understanding of meditation, yoga, gurus, raw foods and ecstatic dance
~greeting and saying goodbye to people involves long hugs, spontaenous healings and even contact dance moves
~children have feet so tough they can walk, run even, on a'a and this is far more heroic than any designer clothes
~if you don't know what the 'natch' is, you seriously are not living in the Punaverse
~fashionable clothing consists of rips, tears, thoughtful cutting, poetry painted fabric, and surge seams

And many more things too... and living in each person who chooses to reside here (whether a week, a month or ten years) is that incredible love for the wild nature and beauty that is Puna. Puna means 'Spring' in Hawaiian as in the fresh, clear waters of this vivid jungle island spot named for the gorgeous springs of hot, warm, and cool waters collecting in lava rock pools...the rugged black lava that smacks up against the indigo blue of the endless Pacific...she is in my heart, the spirit of this place and I hold her close as we offer flowers for our return...

Mahalo me ke aloha la...

2010-05-21T00:38:00.001-07:00

Here is an interesting link about our possible origins:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YhubdKvMjE&feature=related

Ancient Aliens

2010-05-21T00:36:00.001-07:00

I am currently fascinated with the show that has been airing on History channel for the last few weeks: Ancient Aliens. Discussing the theory that alien visitors came to Earth many thousands of years ago has my writery self piqued: what a story! This story is literally writing on the wall: walls of ancient temple ruins that span the globe made from stone and painted, carved, perhaps constructed using advanced technologies. Contemporary science and history makes no claims on this apparently super alternative theory...yet the evidence is compelling. After studying the Goddess, the Paleolithic, the Neolithic and poring over hundreds of myths these last months, my curiosity is deeply piqued by these Ancient Alien theorists.

One major area of the world that hold immense curiosity is Sumeria, the ancient land of modern day Iraq from which the first writing comes; this area is the Mesopotamia cradle of civilization that is glanced over in today's historical textbooks. One of the myths from this time is Inanna's Descent which is in my book on the Sacred Feminine. A fascinating tale of Inanna, Queen of Heaven and her descent into the underworld to face the Dark Mother, as well as the council of Annunaki. The Annunaki are a mysterious collection of advanced god like beings that judge the humans and their deeds featured throughout Sumerian myths. In later Babylonian myths, the Annunaki are children of Anu and Ki. Ancient alien theorists deem the Annunaki to be extraterrestrials from another world who, perhaps, came to this world to seed a new race. Their purpose? That varies according to the theories. Some think they created humans as a slave race to mine gold; others to practice genetic experiments; and others to build, or at least influence the building of the pyramids in Egypt and Teotihuacan.

Strangely, the myth of Inanna has other curious qualities to it as well: two beings fashioned by the God Enki, the god of culture, who are neither male nor female. Some say they could be robotic creatures, droids perhaps or genetically modified creatures. Maybe they are simply parts of a myth! The Annunaki are the aspect of ourselves that judge our inner being; the sexless creatures our internal witness. Either way, as I watch Ancient Aliens I am drawn time and time again into this curious world of pre-history. Of deep wondering as to what caused such a dramatic shift in the way humans behaved 6000 years ago...from creating pottery and feminine imagery of the Neolithic into the a time of syllabic writing and the cultivation of iron weaponry. It is a vast terrain, and if I thought my rewrite was endless...well this new idea of our deep history is no doubt a shifting, sliding desert of mirrors, one that may just consume me for the next years...

endless rewrite

2010-05-20T13:13:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've been climbing mountains. Metaphorically, of course. It seems each time I reach a crest with this book, there is yet another mountain beyond which still needs to be climbed. Kind of like life, this has been a journey and very unlike my last book, which I wrote in six weeks! Of course, I had been teaching Reiki for over a decade... My friends tell me not to compare them...but I am a writer, that is what I do: compare and contrast! So, I'll just have to laugh a lot as I furiously attack the next mountain, hope my legs are strong enough and get to the top quickly. I'm making more coffee, because this time, I'll up for days...and nights. Luckily, the nights in Hawai'i are so gorgeous that I swoon each time I stand in the soft, sultry balmy air and watch the moon rise over ohia trees. The endless night will give birth to dawn eventually...one day, I will reach the top of this sacred feminine mountain and this book will be finished.

No Guarantees

2010-05-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

These days the only friend that is faultless
Is a bottle of red wine and a book of poems.

Wherever you are going, go alone; for the road to enlightenment is
Very narrow and full of curves. And take your wineglass with you,
for there are no guarantees.

I am not the only writer that is worried about having a job.
Knowledge without experience is the 'wise man's' fate.

In this noisy street, the voice of reason says:
The world and all its possessions is no security.

Let me tell you an old story: the face of an old camel, destined by
Fate to be black, cannot become white from washing and cleaning.

Everything you see around you will one day disappear,
Except Love, which lasts forever.

I had great hopes that, with my heart, I would unite with You.
But along the Road of Life, death lurks like highway robbery.

I say hold on to the Moon-Faced One's hair, and don't tell a soul!
For the effect of Saturn and the stars, is agony and good luck.

No one will ever see Hafiz sober, never.
He is drunk on the wine of endless Eternity, and keeps asking for more!

~Hafiz

Pele Magick

2010-05-06T12:47:00.000-07:00

This Big Island of Hawai'i is continuously growing and birthing new land...destroying the old in it's wake. We have been recently blessed with the imminent presence of Pele in the last weeks, as the flow has returned in full force to the Kalapana, just down the road from where we live (about 6 miles away). Going out early in the morning, still dark, the moon lighting the sea and owls flying overhead is so magical and mysterious...then to park the car, walk two minutes and see brand new lava flowing, brilliant orange-red, glowing, creating new earth is stunning, breathtaking.. and leaves me without many words... The pictures speak for themselves in those moment, and I can only say a deep and reverent Mahalo me ke Aloha la to all the spirits for showing their earthly powers...

As I finish up my final rewrite... I feel I have come full circle. Arriving on this Island with the smoky memories of India and karmic offerings to Pele, finding our way and place in this community, beginning to write a book that starts with Pele's arrival to this island...and now finishing as a witness to the creation of new land.. surely a more fitting blessing could not be found! This island...this life...this earth is so wondrous .. .

Dr. Sarita Shrestha and Women’s Health Clinic

2010-04-09T12:20:00.001-07:00

We are currently raising funds for an Ayurvedic women’s health clinic in Nepal. Ayurvedic medicine is a traditional healing system which uses herbs, yoga and massage for preventing disease, supporting the body and treating illness. In 2003, Dr. Sarita was the first recipient of Rubybleu Foundation, a 501(c)3 non-profit that supports women and children in India and Nepal. Other projects include scholarships for girls and microloans in South India. More information is found at: www.rubybleu.blogspot.com

Dr. Sarita Shrestha has been practicing and teaching Ayurvedic medicine for over twenty years. She is also a Western trained physician specializing in Ob/Gyn and combines the two methods in her diagnosis and treatment of patients. Dr. Sarita was featured in David Crow’s book, In Search of the Medicine Buddha and continues to teach at Mount Madonna in California.

The Ayurvedic health clinic in Nepal is accessible to six surrounding villages and supports over six hundred patients. The clinic has a staff of three doctors, two birth assistants and a pharmacist. Everyone is treated, even if patients are unable to pay. The clinic provides basic care for sickness such as flu, coughs, and infection. They primarily use natural, Ayurvedic herbs for treatment and some Western medicine. The clinic also provides an invaluable resource for the women, who often have minimal support or understanding about women’s issues regarding birth and proper healthcare. Counseling is one of the goals of the clinic, along with yoga and meditation.

Through Dr. Sarita’s direction, local farmers are growing and harvesting Ayurvedic herbs used to produce natural medicines. The clinic also hosts herbal and Yoga workshops and camps to promote awareness for natural healing, Yoga and massage.

Donations will provide further support for the health clinic by: enabling the expansion of the herbal garden and farming for Ayurvedic medicine, support the creation of herbal, Yoga and natural birth workshops and allow the clinic to buy needed medicinal supplies.

For more information, see www.saritashresta.org You may also contact Katalin directly at katalinkoda@yahoo.com

Priestessing and The Seven Directions Mystic Alchemy Journey

2010-03-19T11:47:00.000-07:00

The past two weeks have been a wondrous stream of ceremonial activity. I feel I have deeply shifted from one level of creating Ceremony to a whole new and wondrous place of deep trust, connectedness and immense feminine power. A very real power that is inherently united with love and wisdom, a trio of themes that interconnect all aspects of Life. As my co-teacher and I led our womyn students through a path of Power, Love, Wisdom and Integration we found these qualities reverberating through our own lives...

This past month, the month of Wisdom, I created much Ceremony. The turning point, though, was no doubt the Seven Directions Mystic Alchemy journey on March 1st. Seven gorgeous, loving, divine womyn and I began our voyage on the eastern side of the Big Island in Kaimu. We ventured into the dawn where Shaella Noella called in the East and we were met with a full rainbow arching in the rising sun, the promise of a sublime day. We made our first synergetic essence, my first making of a flower essence ever, and it felt so natural and lovely to pluck fresh flowers in new day’s light and cast them into the shimmering water of a crystal bowl. Blessed by the rainbow, our prayers, songs and intentions to create a series of essences in each direction, we then bottled the essence and carried on to our next destination.

We worked our way around the island, traipsing from place to place in our wild gypsy clothes, aboard the comfortable Tsunami blue van resting, singing, chanting and loving…as only a group of womyn can do. We made our way to the steam vents where we called in the depth of Below guided by Angela and the passion of Pele breathing her way into our bodies shining in the new morning. We filled the crystal bowl with the surrounding flowers and rocks, creating an essence of strength and beauty. After the steam vents came Kilauea Crater where our group sat in silence, honoring the center, quietly celebrating Pele and her power, her magic; creating an essence from the peculiar plants that grow alongside the crater of Hale Ma’u Ma’u.

Priestess Amy called in the South with brilliance, fire and power at South Point, overlooking the endless Pacific blue. As we drove around the island to the West, our journey was accompanied by the vibrations of the shruti, chanting, escaping nipples and raucous womyn laughter. At Kua Bay I called in the West and drummed over our glass bowl of coral, sand, beach plants and flowers, the essence of Kanaloa and Yemaya. We completed our journey on Mauna Kea where Suzanne Breeze called the North, after plucking geranium blossoms from a bush on the mountain. As the scent of the flowers filled the van, she told us it was her Grandmother’s favorite flower, a connection to her ancestors and the wisdom of the Grandmothers. At last, TreeStar called the above, using the sacred skullcap bowl, inviting in the Sky beings and crystalline airs. In the night, the foggy air swirled around us, casting an enchanting mystical resonance through our bones and blood as we completed our incredible journey of creating essences.

Returning home, I slept soundly then awoke and spent the next four days teaching Reiki. I made my own first synergy flower essence with my Reiki class, blessed by the attunements. Steeped in wisdom I have since created a lot of ceremony since: Reiki One and Two attunements, walking the Labyrinth with our Sacred Feminine Intensive class, visiting the Yoni cave and recently, performing a handfasting for friends.

I have certainly been filling my role as Priestess! My ceremony work has become increasingly more magical, more spontaneous and so wondrously blessed by this incredible island. In the Yoni cave I met an intense medicine, a powerful imprint of Pele and am slowly beginning to integrate the full meanings of such Power, Love and Wisdom.

completion

2010-02-28T10:34:00.000-08:00

This week I have completed the final rewrite of my manuscript on the Sacred Feminine. The working title is

Dark Stars: Shining the Sacred Feminine into the Wilderness of our Souls

We shall see what Llewellyn (my publishers) have to say in the coming weeks and review of the work. Looking back in my journal, I realized I have been working intensively on this project for an entire year. I have been delving into the Goddess and the Sacred Feminine since I was 19, but this last year was an intensive: I spent hours and hours researching ancient history and mythology, stuffing my brain with dozens of stories, images and meanings that swirl around the Goddess, what I call the Sacred Feminine. It was a process of reclaiming and re-membering: putting back together much of what our Western world has deemed unimportant, negative, evil, even. I went through phases of anger, wonder, turmoil, reverence, awe and joy as I waded through the piles of books, websites and articles discussing the Goddess and her multitude of forms. I was inspired by my seven years in India, dear family and friends and the wondrous magic that is Hawai'i. Moving to a place where a living Goddess is still worshiped, resting atop volcanic activity next to the gorgeous Pacific has continued to feed and nourish my soul on another level. For now, I simply say, Mahalo me ke Aloha la. (Thank you to all things seen and unseen).

And so the deeper I dug into the facets of the Sacred Feminine, the more dissolved in way of gender and forms. I found myself, in the final hours, facing the powerful image of the Dakini, the 'sky walker' of Tibetan Buddhism and somehow I felt I had come full circle: beginning a path anchored in my own practice, moving through the millennia of lost Sacred Feminine, collecting empowering, loving and wise stories along the way, to find myself again moved deeply by the wondrous Dharmic wisdom that emanates from the Dakini. She is the reminder that we are spacious, hold the power of wisdom within and aids us with her tools to cut through illusions, remember that life is both deeply precious and, at the same time, fleeting, impermanent and all the time dissolving.

The journey continues: I have found, within the Dakini an even deeper passion for the crossover between the Goddess, shamanism and Tibetan Buddhism. In Nepal this summer, I hope to continue my research and allow the Sacred Feminine to guide me into even deeper understanding of this wondrous world. I look forward to the release of Dark Stars at the end of the year and am planning a release party to honor all aspects of the Sacred Feminine and provide space for women's expression in art, dance, local artisan work and healing.

Closings

2010-02-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

Time is just whirling by. My deadline fast approaches and I will relinquish a year's worth of work on the Sacred Feminine to my wonderful editor at Llewellyn. We are shooting for release at the end of the year and still remains untitled. Leon (dear husband, friend, full on supporter) remarked that he could only recall one project in his life that he had ever engaged with so intensely for an entire year...comparing another journey to my own, on this Spiraling path of uncovering lost secrets of ancient stories and reclaiming the Sacred Feminine. It is true: it has been an intense focus for a year...but when I glance backwards across my lifestream it really has been there for decades.

I keep seeing a vision of a house, nestled amidst huge old growth trees. There is a screened in porch with mold on the corners and ivy growing up over them. I envision the crumbling stone wall where rocks have loosened and dappled sunlight plays across them like fairy songs. The light is stretching onward past the house, disappearing momentarily into the green, broad leaves of old oaks and finally into a distant, carolina blue sky...and it is somehow my Home, my eternal Home that calls me. A friend remarked, that this is a rebirth, this closing of my path along the Sacred Feminine writings...and a new beginning surfacing from the very depths of my being.

Part of the discoveries of this journey included not only the deep reclaiming of the Goddess for myself and other women through powerful myths, but also, the realization that we need to just as much honor the Sacred Masculine. Often times these two things blurred, creating a spectrum rather than a dichotomy. We are all multidimensional beings and dance between and through the labels...the more we allow our hearts to open wide, them more those fragments will coalesce and the labels dissolve into the very softness of being alive. Just as the waters of the ocean change with each passing moment, so do we....

Let the Muse begin her song in new hearts singing ancient story...

2010-01-13T12:29:00.001-08:00

You think you are alive
because you breathe air?
Shame on you,
that you are alive in such a limited way.
Don't be without Love,
so you won't feel dead.
Die in Love
and stay alive forever.

~Rumi

My Burning Heart

2010-01-11T12:37:00.000-08:00

My heart is burning with love
All can see this flame
My heart is pulsing with passion
like waves on an ocean

my friends have become strangers
and I’m surrounded by enemies
But I’m free as the wind
no longer hurt by those who reproach me

I’m at home wherever I am
And in the room of lovers
I can see with closed eyes
the beauty that dances

Behind the veils
intoxicated with love
I too dance the rhythm
of this moving world

I have lost my senses
in my world of lovers

~Rumi

All You Need is Love

2010-01-08T10:41:00.001-08:00

This is true. Right? What did the Beatles mean exactly when they grooved on love spreading that simple, sweet truth to the world? What is Love, really? Love is one of those words that feels simultaneously expansive and limiting at the same time. In English, we have this one word that encompasses all the aspects of relating to one another with any kind of real depth: our intimate relationships, friendships, parent and child, teachers, our pets, ice cream even! In Spanish, there are several words for love, and you use a different word to express different ways of loving. Just as sexuality and preferences span a whole rainbowed spectrum of expression, so too, does love. And it seems we need a few more words in our language to fully express this.

Last weekend, as my co-teacher and I discussed the concept of Love, we were standing on a small cliff overlooking the Pacific ocean, just a few miles down the coast from where I live. We talked about Love and all its complexities: how to relate it to sexuality, sacredness, sensuality, partners and friends, community and animals... as we discussed, the wind blew in our hair, the waves crashed and we observed where the lava flow abruptly stopped, just ending. A feeling of vastness overtook my heart and then we looked out to sea and there were two whales! A mother whale and her baby...it was so perfect, such a clear manifestation of Love. I realized, in that moment, that Love is something indefinable in its purity; it simply is that quality that whales seem to carry so effortlessly: moving consciously through the water, unencumbered and fully present. In my mind, this is Love. I remembered, last winter, my first sighting of whales on the Puna coast (and first in my life actually) I was sitting on the cliff in the back of my house. I had my eyes closed in meditation and opened my heart to the Universe; I felt so open, so connected in that moment and when I opened my eyes, there were also two whales that time, also a mother and baby. I felt full of Love, indeed.

We are surrounded by these sayings such as, 'All you need is love,' or 'It's all about love,' or 'Love makes the world go 'round.' But do we really take the time each day to honor those statements? Do we even know what true loving action is? Sometimes I think people confuse love and sex; sexuality and sacredness; truth and bliss...they assume that everything that feels good is love; that if it's pleasurable it's true; that meditation is a kind of blissful experience. Certainly, I adore bliss too...but I find that real Love and Compassion also emerges amidst times of pain, crises and suffering. That when things are falling apart all around us, it is actions of Love that carry us through. Being completely present, deeply listening and letting go...just as the whales do seem to be indications of a real kind of Love, a true Love, one that fuels all our relations, whatever they may be. If this open-hearted clarity is applied to situations, we see things crystalline, as they are and without judgment. Then we feel amazing, not blissful, but CLEAR. And that is Love.

blue mango tree

2010-01-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

i sit under the blue mango tree

indigo night sparkles with children’s laughter

quoting dylan red wine breath the morning after

i remember how he sang to me,

‘to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free’

it’s a poem, this moment

this moon glow on it’s way, waning.

it’s a poem, this breath, diamond sent

power seeping earth, mixing heaven scent.

a crystal glance suspended, hanging,

twanging and changing

this poem, this moment

undone, unbroken, unspent

i sit under this blue mango tree

india’s red roots growing deep into rock

as the ladies drink chai, and sing their day’s talk

legs draped over cool cement, casually

baby swings high, screaming sublime glee

i sit under this blue mango tree

electricity’s gone, the dark soft falling ‘round

the moment hangs like the cluster mango i found

shy woman’s brown eyes flashing asunder

calling the faint clouded thunder

Year's End

2009-12-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

As 2009 spirals to a close, I have the sense of standing on a high cliff, overlooking a vast, mysterious ocean; one that is filled with waves of joy and brilliance, sorrow and intensity, laughter and hope, celebration and dissolution. Of course, this feeling may simply be because I do live on a cliff and often spend late afternoons staring out to sea contemplating life, death, rebirth and all the millions of little layers that come in between.

Landing in Hawaii, now one year and three and a half months ago, is proving to be a whole new journey...a journey that is simultaneously inward and outward. India gifted me many glowing treasures that come in the forms of seeds...the gifts of true, real compassion; the remembrance that truly, there is nowhere to go, nothing to do; that all is as it should be; that real love comes in the form of total, utter surrender; that nothing is what it seems. Each of these tiny phrases could be the seed of whole book unto themselves (and of course they are...) and I feel deeply honored to have spent so many years of my life in a culture that reveres the sacred...yet still knows that both everything and nothing is sacred...that the meaning of life spirals away each time we try to touch it and leaves behind only the faint impression of a path. One of my teachers spoke about meditation and clarity and that glimpsing the brilliance of the Universe; that touching the infinite is spectacular in itself, yet is only the beginning...

And so, leaving India in March of '08 and journeying to this wondrous island in the middle of the Pacific has put me in a place of wide open wonder. A place to revisit many of my old passions such as dance, writing lyrics, sharing with a multi-dimensional community but carrying the seeds of clear intention, of allowing things to rise and fall away, just as the ocean waves, to be utterly, deeply open and present to the stream of love and all its variances.

So, as the dark turns over into seeds of light, I call in my intentions for the New Year: intentions laced with dharma and the spectrum of truth, beauty and immanence; the intention to even more deeply dance my story and thus create it anew...over and over and over again.

See you all in 2010...

Banakuma Solstice

2009-12-20T20:52:00.000-08:00

This weekend, the beginning of Solstice, the return of the solar light, I found myself in another mezcla of tradition, love, dance, beauty, and spirits, another earthweaver moment on this incredible island of Hawai'i. Surrounded by the sounds of Africa I spent a few days feeling the drumming and dancing of the Banakuma ceremony. We lived village style, embracing the Spirits of the place, calling in the sacred through music and dance.

I brought Yoko along with Yoko Yai (big Yoko) and her daughter Hana, to camp with several other families, friends, music makers, dancers and dreamers on the north coast of Kona. The water was divine; the drums incredible and fused with sounds of the mbira, marimba, shakers and voice; the bodies leaping ecstatic in the air inspired me to revisit my connection with African dance. I adored moving to our African local band, Baraba Jaba at night which was visited by an enormous Manta Ray, the first one I have seen in Hawaii.

The following night was the Banakuma ceremony to honor the Solstice in cleansing the old and calling in the new. I felt this was the beginning of a week long rebirth of light that happens during these days; days which have been honored by people connected to the earth for thousands of years. The Banakuma ceremony is a kind of delightedly new meeting powerfully ancient fusion of working with Spirits through Chris Berry, master of the mbira. Watching him play the joyous melody that skipped along over the pounding African djembes and through the feet and bodies of the dancers was powerful. There is no dance like African dance with Spirit moving through so joyously, calling in beauty and wild ecstasy all around.

I am inspired to find myself, once again, surrounded by the music and energy that is Africa...and how it drifts endless around this world. In India, meeting my African dance teacher (and teaching him Reiki) was my first deep encounter with the dance of Senegal. But Africa and its people have always called me and I hope to visit the Dark Mother soon...but for now, we have her spirit through the people who carry her dances, her songs, her healing, her vibrations...

Stepping into Power

2009-12-13T09:34:00.000-08:00

The Sacred Feminine Intensive began this weekend with ten women Stepping into Power. We held sacred ceremony under a gorgeous starlit sky, calling ourselves back into our Power, held and supported by the love and wisdom of each other, our guides, our ancestors, Tutu Pele who burns brilliantly on the hillside and Kanaloa. With the sound of the drum and rattles in flickering firelight, offerings of awa we claimed our place of being Woman, holding space for something very new and very ancient.

The class continued on Saturday with circling, sharing, and making masks to both undo our old identities and recreate a new vision of power. I found myself telling stories this time; telling them aloud and loving it! I told the story of Pele and how she found her home on the Big Island, in Hale Ma'u Ma'u. Her journey from Lahiki to Hawai'i was akin to our own journeys we undertake in the quest for real power.

Upon being cast out of her homeland for being too destructive, Pele takes her magic digging stick, the pa'oa (the stick which draws lava up from the center of the earth) and paddles off in her canoe. Along with her pa'oa, Pele also takes her dear sister, Hi'iaka, who is in the shape of an egg. Hi'iaka loves Pele unconditionally--throughout the myths, even when Pele is full of fury and fire, Hi'iaka still is able to love with grace and without judgment.

When Pele arrives at the Hawai'ian islands, Pele's wrathful sister, Namaka, challenges her to a duel. But Namaka cheats in the fight and calls a sea serpent which tears Pele apart into pieces. She is dismembered. Torn Asunder. Stories of the quest for power almost always, inevitably contain an element of dismemberment and utter surrender. Just as in the myth of Inanna, this is a kind of active surrender. It is like giving Birth: complete opening yet filled with immense power.

Pele is reborn as a brilliant light in the sky. She has come back with wisdom, the wisdom of death; the wisdom that death is the matrix for rebirth. When we face the darkness and surrender we come back with gifts of wisdom and held in love just as Pele is held by Hi'iaka. She arrives, finally at the Big Island of Hawaii and climbs up to Hale Ma'u Ma'u. There she thrusts her digging stick into the earth and joyously draws up the lava, finally finding the place where she can fully express her power. Still to this day, many honor Tutu Pele and her flowing birth and destruction that shapes this island.

We can relate to Pele because we all need to find our own power with our digging stick; to find the well of power that nourishes us. But we also need to find the place that honors our power, whether that be a real place, a certain community, teachings that helps us to find right balance within our power. Power, that is flanked by love and wisdom is a very real kind of empowerment; not a power over, but a power from within.

As Jill and I led our class of beautiful, amazing women through a journey to reconnect with power, we felt incredibly supported. We also received gifts and medicines to aid us on our journey. We were grateful to lead such lovely women through their own journey, to hold open the door to Power. It was a wonderful weekend and I look forward to focusing deeper on my own connection to Power in the days ahead as well as the continuing months of our Sacred Feminine Intensive. Journey On!

Sacred Feminine Intensive for Women

2009-11-27T17:34:00.002-08:00

Four Activation Meetings: Power, Love, Wisdom and Integration

First Activation Meeting: Stepping Into Power with ceremony and initiation, shamanic journey work, mask making, deconstructing power-over dynamics and rebuilding personal power, symbolism and myth exploration using archetypes: Steerswoman, Initiate, Warrioress.

December 11, 7 PM and December 12, 10-4

Four Meetings: Second Saturday, Dec-March

Cost: $60 per class (includes materials)

Teachers: Jill Walton has a degree in Psychology and spent the last thirty years as an intuitive counselor and educator. She has worked with Tarot, the chakra system, The Four-Fold Way and the Wheel of the Year Ceremonies. She is currently studying pre-Christian Hawaiian Spirituality with Kahuna Aupuni Iwi Ula. Jill teaches classes including The Seven Chakras: A Journey of Self Awareness, Psychic Development, The Four Sacred Bodies: Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual, Developing a Daily Spiritual Practice, and Accessing Your Personal Guides.

Katalin Koda, author, Reiki Master and shamanic practitioner, has worked extensively with the chakra system, Tarot, Wicca, sacred space and the elements for over twelve years. She authored Sacred Path of Reiki: Healing as a Spiritual Discipline. Katalin is initiated in Tibetan Buddhist practices and the Munay Ki of Peruvian shamanism and currently teaches all degrees of Reiki as well as passing Munay Ki initiations and leading drum journeys. She is currently working on her next book Sacred Feminine, forthcoming Fall 2010. See www.earthweaver.blogpspot.com

Contact: Jill at 965.1824 or jtwalton@hotmail.com and Katalin at 769.7645 or sister_fireheart@yahoo.com

Breaking Apart

2009-11-20T12:09:00.000-08:00

I am taking a small break the past few days; a break from my manuscript to re-center and reconnect with my heart, the true voice of this book. Each book, story, poem, have a life of their own, a directive, a kind of conscious template that seems to have nothing to do with me--I'm just the channel, the voice, the fingers to bring it forward.

In writing this book I have used a lot of resources; it has gotten a bit scholarly, as my editor says. Perhaps my father has something to do with my tendency towards over-citing...he does have a degree in Bibliography after all! The return to the West and the entrance into writing a book on the Sacred Feminine was met by my own realization of how many resources are now out there, available for women (and men) on the reclaiming of the Goddess/Sacred Feminine/Dark Beauty. A big part of this is also my reconnection with Sacred Sexuality, Shamanism, Indigenous Voices, Ecstatic Dance and some kind of Poetry Collective that is emerging on the Puna Coast. So there is a simultaneous breaking apart and re-building happening; a kind of deconstruction that is at the same time creating. It's kind of like baking cakes and filtering water at the same time: alchemical fires meeting clarified waters; spirit meeting form; spirituality meeting sensuality. There is a lot of madness and a lot of love and a lot of intense CLARITY.

In other words, in the midst of quiet Hawaiian paradise, my world seems to be very full and diverse. So, I'm writing in a way that is a bit UN-coherent for the moment; allowing dreams to surface; revisiting old poems and stories and writings from a decade ago; seeing where everything has changed, yet nothing has changed; and, beginning a Rewrite.

Dolphins and Drums and Diamonds, Oh My!

2009-11-01T11:49:00.000-08:00

This has been a wild week...I swam with dolphins, my sister unexpectedly arrived from Bangkok bearing precious stones and wisdom and I danced to hot soulful African drums on Halloween night. Needless to say, its a bit difficult to stay mindful of my book and its progress when so much is happening in my world. Thus, entering the chapter of the Weaver is appropriate, weaving together all the different facets of my life.

For Halloween, the Goddess of Destiny, known as Lady Luck, the Moirae or Fates, descended into my soul casting fortunes onto receptive folks. I feel a connection to this Archetype of the Fates, often showing up in myths as three sisters. The Greeks believed the fates were spinners and spun the destiny lines of all us lowly humans, deciding when we are born, how long and fruitful our lives our and when we die. Clotho is the sister who cuts the thread at the end of our lives, reminding us to live in the present, in the very living Now. I danced ecstatic as this Goddess of Destiny, to pounding African djembes, blessed to be surrounded by this multi-dimensional community.

Today we celebrate Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead and honor our ancestors. The time of year is slipping into darkness and we can call on the Spirits of the Night to visit us with visions and sacred dreams. We will graciously give offerings to those who have passsed on, transitioned into the next realms and remember that they nourish us. That the living are fed by the dead. We often forget this, that truly, Death is the Matrix for Rebirth. This is also the Witches' New Year, Samhain, the time when the veil is the thinnest, allowing us direct communication with our ancestors and spirit guides. Let us remember, let us journey on.

Again the Sea

2009-10-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of those ultra divine days on the Puna coast...a day where the sun is shining brilliant and the waves at the black sand beach down the road are not too wild. I went to the ocean again, flew into the pounding surf, got completely tumbled, lost my bracelet that a friend just sent from South Korea and came up grinning. My little daughter ran back and forth along the foam spilling onto the sand, occasionally letting one take her for a ride. Kehena beach, our little beach just a couple miles down the road, is all black and sticks to your skin like a scrub. The currents are often wild, the waves crash down too hard stirring up giant lava stones, so getting in is tricky and getting out is daunting. It requires a lot of trust ... and when the trust is there, you just fly along with the stones and surf, and nothing bad happens. Although I have seen my fair share of people emerging from that coast with blood dripping down their faces, so its not to be played with. Some have even drowned there and many days it really is just too rough, the wave too enormous to tread into... and other days it is as flat and calm as a lake, dolphins leap joyously, fish swim languidly, turtles drift endless .... That is why living by the sea is so wondrous, so essential to my well-being; to live with something that is so apparently in flux reminds me, over and over again that there is nothing to 'do,' nowhere to 'go' and to simply be. I often need reminders, even in Hawaii!

Reminders of the Sea

2009-10-22T13:02:00.000-07:00

Unlike many cultures around the world, the Spirit of the Sea in Hawai'i is male. Kanaloa is the ancient Polynesian god of death, darkness and water...elements often associated with a western reclaiming of the Goddess. I love this because it reminds us that in myth, in transcendence there really is no 'male' or 'female,' no 'masculine' versus 'feminine.' That indeed it is all woven together in the threads of life. The Consort Archetype teaches us to inhabit all elements of ourselves in love. That we each dance masculine and feminine together...that when we truly try to deconstruct such labels, they simply fall apart, like sand melting into the sea.

I got up early this morning, rode my bike to the beach and swam in the crashing indigo surf as the sun rose in the east and I felt like I was a tiny cell in Kanaloa's body, both distinct, yet a part of something grand. I imagined the Goddess stretching out above me, a vast blue sky, reaching down to kiss the ocean waves, her lover, her self, her male-female being. As I delve further into the research of the Goddess, her stories, her essence, I am also continuously reminded that she is not feminine, but simply, Divine. As each of us are, not really male or female, in essence, nor white or black or brown, nor young or old, nor a writer, a teacher or a music maker. We are not our identities, our selves, our bodies, just simply we are and we dance and crash, stumble and cry, laugh and make love, just like the stones in the surf tumbling around becoming softer and smaller, more connected and less attached.

The Healer

2009-10-19T11:17:00.000-07:00

The Healer archetype is, perhaps, the easiest for me to write about. It is the one I have spent years learning about, emanating, creating, holding space for... She is our inner Mother in a way, the self-nurturer, the profound gift of joy that resides at the core of each of us, if only we can remember how to find that. She is the full moon shining down on our bodies, illuminating our skin, casting moon shadows onto the soft earth. She is the water running from snows atop mountains, melting into rivers which in turn melts the earth into canyons...years of wearing away the surface into raw beauty. I wish we could look at ourselves more like this: like planets that are slowly turning more beautiful, more interesting, more dynamic...instead of a society plagued by the wonder of youth, perfection, flawless imagery. The Healer not only sees what is good and gorgeous, but honors what is decaying and impermanent. She knows that sometimes, to heal, is simply to Let Go.

In my previously published book Sacred Path of Reiki: Healing as a Spiritual Discipline I explore the path as Healer through the Warrior archetype, but the warrior in the sense of focus, clarity, discernment. The Warrior knows exactly when to act and when to not act; something that is crucial for each of us to learn to balance. Finding that balance takes a bit of effort, of realizing that we are not so special actually, although we may be unique, we are all a reflection of each other. We are all scattered bits of dust reflecting the light of the sun, floating, freely and openly. We only have to drop all our attachments, our clinging, our effort to define our dust and then we are so free, so limitless, so spacious. Of course, easier said than done...as Winnie the Pooh says, “The hardest part is what to leave behind, ... It's time to let go!”

So, at moments we do let go and those are the pivotal transformative breaths of fresh air. The Healing, the spiraling in and down; out and away. The heart opening so wide, that we wondered how we could not love each thing in it. She is the soft touch of our lover, the smile from a friend, the sun rising over an endless Pacific blue... she is both a gift and a work in progress...

In Between Dreams

2009-10-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

As I determinedly plug away at writing this manuscript, my dreams are mirroring my journey. And in mirroring, it is my subconscious self that is looking back at the conscious mind, witnessing the process. At times I feel as if my self hovers between subconscious and unconscious, flashing, like a mirror, or a spinning coin in brilliant sunlight. When the coin, so to speak, spins perfectly it feels amazing, the best high any writer can have: a perfect balance between light and dark, unconscious and conscious, negative and positive. It quickly supersedes any kind of right or wrong and is a meeting of the transcendent skies and firm earth. Each set of chapters seem to have these qualities: Initiate/Warrioress; Consort/Healer; Weaver/High Priestess; Elder/Changing Woman. I feel the flipping, spinning quality strongly as I finish up the Consort and Healer chapters, as the one feeds the other, not unlike a DNA double helix winding around itself connected by a series of links.

And my dreams are certainly reflecting the Goddess. Two nights ago I dreamed I was in a giant pasture filled with soft grass under a beautiful warm sun. In the middle of the field was the biggest pumpkin I could ever dream up; it was as big as a house! The top had been cut off, as if it was being prepared for a Jack-o-Lantern and the inside had been completely cleared out. I jumped into the giant pumpkin where it was dark and soft, a bit squishy and smelled strongly of pumpkin. Of course two days later my daughter came home from school reciting:

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater
Had a wife and couldn't keep her
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her very well.

Just like the dream. Hmmm... Which is a bit disturbing, considering the implications of that particular rhyme. Many have speculated that Peter, who 'couldn't keep her,' meant the wife was off doing what she felt, such as? Partying down with the men at the local tavern? Dancing with her skirts up? Going for long, witchy walks alone in the woods? But, putting her in the pumpkin shell, thus getting her pregnant (or putting her in a chastity belt according to other sources), well that kept her home with dear old Peter, after all. A lovely reflection of the times. Because my daughter brought home the rhyme after I dreamed this, I wondered about our culture's collective subconscious. Was the Goddess trying to tell me something? Pumpkin's certainly seem Goddessy, with their roundness, their popularity at Halloween, their overall harvest feeling. And it was nice inside that pumpkin, but I wouldn't want to be kept there...

This feeling of opening communication was compounded with the dream I had last night. I was with friends who asked me to go to some kind of party or show; at first I refused, but then must have relented, because then we were off and I was driving a car. Suddenly, I saw where we were going, from above, and it was a round mound rising up from the earth. It must have been made by humans, as it was so perfectly formed and a wondrously precise spiral had been carved out so that it traveled from the base of the mound, up and around, to the top. As I drove the car, I realized I was alone and I was a bit frightened that I might fly off the edge at any moment. It was nighttime and the sky was the most intense shade of indigo with stars burning very brightly as I drove slowly and carefully to the top. There, I met with friends and we entered a kind of sacred space, covered with tapestry cloth and then I awoke. I awoke thinking of Silbury Hill, a giant mound built around 4,500 years ago in Avebury, England. No one seems to know exactly why this mound was built, but no doubt it is connected to the Goddess and the sacred feminine, as that time, the end of the Neolithic was immersed in Goddess worship. I felt nourished upon awakening, like truly, I'm on the right path and reflected on my journey of the Goddess: spiraling onward and upward to the completion of this manuscript.

http://documents.kennet.gov.uk/avebury/aveburyvirtual/silbury/index.htm

Pele's passion

2009-10-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

she is digging into soft earth
brilliant mica chips fly, then hard rock again
the cinders scratching against each other,
the place between her legs rubbing
over ceaseless fires,
unable to extinguish.

the layers are dissolving
but only to reveal more layers.
as the moon wanes, the coast sings
to her a haunt
of restless spirits and unfulfilled hearts.
why does she ache so sweetly?

is there any other way to live
besides yearning?
angst, like icy fire
in heated, unkempt anticipation;
a penetration that will barely rise
to the surface of her languishing heart.

so she’ll pile new layers on the old,
with tiny seeds like hopes scattered
and a red string for luck,
some green food and drinking water
sprinkled lovingly, wantonly.

the liquid, slippery like egg whites,
running down lanky legs
dripping onto fresh old soil,
this once steaming rock from
earth’s molten liquid pulse.

Pele’s passion pushing her magic toes
into island wonder
and she sighs, undulating,
cumming all over the place,
not knowing
where her song began or if it has ever ended

bliss runs from crown to ankles
feet merged now with the hope of goddesses;
she’s dreaming and they’re drumming
and the day is born anew once again.

Artemis

2009-09-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

This week I am writing the stories of the Warrioress: the fierce and powerful women inherent in the Sacred Feminine. One of my guides for this process is the Greek Goddess Artemis. She has fascinated me since I was a little girl, this huntress, goddess of the moon. She is associated with the Lady of the Wild Beasts, roaming the most remote places of nature. She is the whisper among wildflowers in high mountain meadows; the lonely call of the hawk spiraling above the treetops; the rustle of trees in virgin, untouched forests. Fittingly, Artemis remains forever chaste, requesting from her father Zeus to never marry, but instead run free with her band of young nymphs, girls of ten years old.

Artemis is the part of us that remains untouched, completely independent of whatever past trauma or sorrow we have felt. She is like the shine on the moon, coming and going and always brilliant. She is our spirit which remains a clear and brilliant source of love and peace and inspiration even amidst hardship and pain. She also reminds us to run free, to reconnect with nature, walk barefoot and climb trees like we may have done when we were young. She shows us that a balance between solitude and community are essential to our well being, that a group of close friends support us on our journey and also allow the freedom to seek deep insight alone.

We can call on Artemis for protection, to empower our path as women, or people seeking to reclaim the Sacred Feminine. She is one of the oldest Goddesses on Earth, honored long before the Greeks even, and her name resonates to an ancient and distant path. As a huntress she is protectress and also has the insight and clarity to see goals and pinpoint them with her arrows. She understands the wisdom of the sacrifice, felling animals as needed, but doing so in balance with nature. When we have cultivated a clear sight and intuition, we can then imagine using Artemis' arrows flying to our destiny, pinpointing our goal, sacrificing the energy needed to complete what is important to us.

As the writing of my book carries, on I am calling in Artemis to guide and protect this path, this clear vision and give birth to a potent creative work that benefits my readers.

Image taken from: http://cc.oulu.fi/~yseppa/pages/page2_1.html